


Disambiguation

by 3ALover



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Comedy, Confusion, Cuddling & Snuggling, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, M/M, Meddling, Slow Burn, Teasing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-24 14:25:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10743528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ALover/pseuds/3ALover
Summary: Everything Javier thought he new begins to shift all because of a bit of teasing from another skater.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The word "Disambiguation" means "to make something clear" (more or less) and I like that word. I think this word is a good title for this fanfic, and I hope you enjoy it!

It was more uncommon than not for Javier to find Shoma Uno without Yuzuru there, teasing the hell out of the young skater. Almost anytime Javier ran into Shoma, it was with Yuzuru at one of their sides. It was even stranger for Shoma to have been the one to seek Javier out on his own. It wasn’t that Javier didn’t like the kid. He was, as Yuzuru constantly reminded everyone, the most adorable teenager Javier had ever seen. He was always amazed Shoma didn’t get sick of everybody ruffling his hair and pinching his cheeks and treating him like the little boy his baby-face made him appear to be. Javier had thought _Yuzuru_ looked tiny and boyish when he first joined the senior division, but Shoma usually actually got mistaken for a juniors skater by rink workers who didn’t actually pay attention to the sport taking place on their ice. 

Because of his boyish looks, Javier was a little surprised by the deviousness he was displaying currently. 

“What?” Javier asked, wondering if Shoma’s English was not what he meant to say.

Shoma gave a grin that looked very wrong on his innocent-looking face. “Say where Yuzuru since you always attached at dick.”

Javier chuckled uncomfortably. “I think you mean ‘hip’ there, that’s-“

“Oh no, know what mean,” Shoma said with that same grin. He looked like a bad child instead of an innocent one now. He gestured at Javier. “When in Canada, you always with, yes? When home, Yuzuru always-“ He raised a hand and started opening and closing it as he rolled his eyes and made dramatic faces. “Blah blah blah Javi blah blah more Javi blah blah Javi always.” Javier raised a confused eyebrow, trying to figure out what the hell this kid was going on about. Shoma shrugged. “He say sleep in Javi bed so think you know where is Yuzuru now.” He tilted his head. “You know not?” he asked and Javier blinked a few times.

“Eh, no. I don’t know where Yuzuru is right now,” he said, answering his question. “Also, are you saying you think he and I are _together_?”

“No, if together I find him,” Shoma said as if Javier were stupid, and Javier waved a hand.

“I mean you think we’re dating? Boyfriends?” he said, trying to find a word Shoma would understand.

Shoma nodded. “Yuzuru Javi boyfriend, yes.”

Javier shook his head. “Yuzu and I are not together.”

“Yes, yes, understand,” Shoma said, nodding a few times. “Not know where Yuzu-boyfriend is-“

“No, Yuzuru is not my boyfriend,” he explained further and Shoma rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay, sex friend,” he said and Javier quickly panicked, trying to stop him. Shoma smirked in a way that made Javier realize that kid knew exactly what was going on and was doing this all on purpose. “I go. Look for Yuzu, tell sex friend cannot find. You have sex friend back speed,” he said, and he _winked_ before he walked away, heading towards the lobby of the hotel.

~

Javier didn’t actually see Yuzuru until he got to rehearsal and Yuzuru was already on the ice for warmups, skating around with Kanako. Rather than call him over, he simply got onto the ice himself, sipping his water at the boards before tossing the bottle onto the bench just off the ice. He joined the others who were all just skating around, getting warmed up, and ended up getting roped into playing keep-away with Alex as they tossed Maia’s water bottle back and forth where she couldn’t jump to reach it. 

Once she finally leapt high enough to catch it, they gave up and skated away, laughing like children at her annoyed face. “Hey, did Shoma ever find you?” Alex asked, and Javier raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, but how did you know? He told me he was looking for Yuzuru and thought I might know where he was,” he said, and Alex made a face.

“What? Weird.” He shook his head. “He told me he was looking for you, not Yuzuru. I could’ve told him where Yuzuru was, he was going over choreography with Mao,” he explained. “Although, I still don’t know what Shoma’s saying half the time, and I don’t think he knows what I’m saying half the time. So who knows,” Alex said and Javier snorted.

“I have a suspicion that kid knows far more English than he lets on, my friend,” he said, thinking back to Shoma’s ‘attached at the dick’ comment. “I wouldn’t be fooled by that innocent face,” he warned, and Alex rolled his eyes.

“Yeah right, he’s the sweetest. I want to adopt him. I’m going to start telling people he’s my son,” he decided and Javier snickered at how silly Alex could be sometimes. “Speaking of,” he said, spotting Shoma ahead of them. “HEY, SHOMA!” he called, skating away towards him, leaving Javier to continue on his own. 

After doing a few light jumps to get his knees working, he went to get some water and, while he was drinking, Yuzuru himself skidded to a stop by him. “You were kind of late getting here, I saw. Everything okay?” he asked, and Javier nodded.

“Oh yeah, just talking to Shoma.” He glanced around to see if anybody was nearby and they were pretty alone. “Hey, who has been teaching that kid to say dirty things in English?”

Yuzuru’s eyes widened. “He _what_?”

Javier snickered. “Oh yeah, someone taught him the word ‘dick’, and it was the word he wanted to say, not something someone taught him as a joke.”

Yuzuru looked shocked. “But he is usually very sweet,” he said, looking confused. “He did not _call_ you that right?” he asked, looking very concerned and Javier snorted.

“Oh no, he was making assumptions about my sex life, so he was definitely talking about the body part,” he said and Yuzuru made a confused face.

“What? Why would Shoma-kun talk about you and sex?” He shook his head, muttering something under his breath. “That makes no sense.”

Javier shrugged. “Hey, you can take that up with him. He was being very strange.”

Yuzuru nodded. “I must talk to him later. That is very strange.”

~

It only got weirder from there. Every time he and Yuzuru goofed off on ice, he would glance around and find Shoma smirking deviously at the two of them. It was becoming uncomfortable. The kid was _everywhere_ , too. Javier and Yuzuru would come out of Javier’s hotel room and Shoma would be in the hallway. They would go out for dinner with some of the others and Shoma would always be across the table from Javier. It was like everywhere he turned, Shoma was there, with this creepy, devious look on his face.

Javier tried talking to others about it, asking if they thought Shoma was being odd lately, but it seemed nobody was willing to even consider that sweet little Shoma, everybody’s baby brother, could possibly be anything but innocent and adorable. 

Also, he would _not_ stop calling Yuzuru his ‘sex friend’. “Javi!” Shoma fell into step with him in the back hallway, always walking extremely awkwardly in his skates when he was off the ice. Javier had never seen anyone look less graceful in skates than Shoma was when he wasn’t actually performing and yet be ridiculously graceful during his performance. “Sex friend look for. He say go hotel room but no answer.”

Javier rolled his eyes. “Yuzuru, who is _not_ my ‘sex friend’, already told me, but thank you,” he said, trying to stay polite. Just because the kid was being weird didn’t mean he should be rude. “He was in the locker room when I changed.”

He realized a moment too late that that was the wrong thing to say, because that innocent look became far more devious. “Oh clothes off, eh. Bad bad,” he said in a mocking tone as he shook his head. “Public not sex place.”

“Since we are not having sex, there was no sex in the locker room. I was just changing into my training clothes,” he defended, and Shoma giggled.

“Okay. I believe.” He winked in a way that said he did not at all believe before he turned and headed back the way he came. “Skate good, sex friend!” he called, and Javier wanted to slap himself in the face at the scandalized look the janitor by the water fountains gave him at that.

~

Eventually, he had to ask about it. Though it was something very awkward to bring up with Yuzuru, he needed someone to talk to Shoma. “Hey, did you ever get to the bottom of who was teaching Shoma dirty things?” he asked, trying to sound casual. 

Yuzuru looked at him and made a ridiculous face – something Yuzuru did a lot, and with talent – and waved a hand. “He says you hear him wrong. He did not say word you said. He does not know what it means.”

Javier actually stopped in his tracks, jaw going slack. Yuzuru turned back to look at him and he shook his head. “No, Yuzuru, he _definitely_ knows what he was saying, because he said something about me having a boyfriend, and when I said no, he said ‘well fine, sex friend’,” he stressed. “Shoma definitely said ‘dick’ and knew what he said.”

Yuzuru’s head whipped around and he frowned. “But you don’t have boyfriends, so that is silly. Why would Shoma say such things?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Javier said. “He keeps saying it,” he confessed. “He keeps making remarks about my ‘sex friend’ and giving me this creepy little look. It’s like everywhere I turn, there’s this little demon leering at me!”

“Hey, Shoma-kun not a demon,” he defended, giving him a chastising look. “He is nice boy. Not creepy or a demon.” Javier rolled his eyes and Yuzuru frowned. “What’s ‘lee- leel- leering?”

Javier tried to think of how to describe it. “It’s like- like staring but in a creepy way. Like how that doorman was looking at the girls when we got off the bus,” he said and Yuzuru’s eyes widened with understanding and he nodded.

“Oooh.” He frowned again. “Wait, Shoma does not _leering_ ,” he said defensively. 

“Well he does at me!” Javier said, grabbing Yuzuru’s shoulders lightly to shake him playfully. “Yuzuuuu,” he whined, growling some. “Why do you not believe me?! Nobody believes me, but he is being strange! You of all people usually trust me,” he complained. He slid his hands down to rest on Yuzuru’s arms and pouted playfully. “Why don’t you trust Javi?”

Yuzuru giggled and rolled his eyes, grabbing Javier’s wrists. “I trust Javi always,” he said with a toss of his hair. “I just think Javi misunderstands Shoma. Shoma is nice. Not creepy.”

Javier sighed and looped an arm around Yuzuru’s shoulders, tugging him along. “You’re all going to be in for a shock when one day he turns on the rest of you,” he warned. “Sweet little Shoma Uno is going to end up collecting all the secrets and publishing them online. Mark my words, his English is better than people think, so they probably say things they don’t want him to really understand within range of him.”

Yuzuru cackled. “Shoma has bad English. Even I have good English compared to Shoma. Most of time he just pretends he knows what you say to him. Believe me, Shoma just did not know what he says.”

Javier didn’t believe that for a second, but he decided to let it drop, lest he have to confess that Shoma was calling _Yuzuru_ Javier’s ‘sex friend’.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy so many people leave nice comments! Thank you! I'm giving you a long one tonight, and I am very far ahead of this fic, so you may get more tomorrow too! I'll be excited to see how you guys like this one!
> 
> I'm going to change the rating because I realize maybe the cursing is T for Teen not G, but that's all for now! Enjoy!

Watching Yuzuru dancing was always one of Javier’s favorite things. That skinny little thing could _dance_ , and he loved it. Yuzuru always smiled so big when he was dancing with people, and one of the few people who loved dancing as much as him was the American guy, Jason Brown. Currently, Maia was filming Jason dancing around and when Yuzuru started laughing, he had grabbed Yuzuru and dragged him into it as well. Yuzuru had picked up on his choreography fast and they were both giggling like children and wiggling around in the hallway while Maia filmed them.

Javier raised an eyebrow, however, when they stumbled together and Jason wrapped his arms around Yuzuru’s shoulders and hugged him close, laying his head on his shoulder and laughing. Yuzuru wasn’t big on hugs other than from people he was close to. Brian and Tracy got plenty of hugs, for instance. Shoma got hugs because Yuzuru treated him like a little brother. Javier got plenty of hugs and touches, too. It was strange, however, to see Yuzuru laughing and hanging all over someone he knew but wasn’t really friends with. 

However, he did nothing to stop Jason from laying his forehead against Yuzuru’s neck and giggling into his collar bone as they both found their balance again. He even hugged Jason back, laughing as they turned back to Maia, who had to reset to try again. 

“Oohh no like boy hug sex-friend.” Javier was starting to dread the voice that joined him from somewhere around his shoulder. Trying to ignore him didn’t help. “Jason cute. You have competition, eh.”

Javier finally sighed and looked down at Shoma, who was smirking suggestively. He nudged Javi with his elbow and he sighed. “Not my sex-friend,” he repeated again. 

Shoma tutted doubtfully. “You look at body much for not sex-friend. You look _much_.” Javier looked around to see if anybody else was hearing this, but of course, not a single other person seemed to notice anything strange going on. “Javi become jealous, ehhhhh,” he said, elbowing him repeatedly until Javier finally snapped and turned to glare.

“If you don’t stop this crap-“

Before he could continue his threat – not that he knew what he’d threaten him with – a voice called his name. “Shoma! Oh my God, come dance with us!” 

Javier looked over to see Yuzuru follow Jason’s shout and spot Shoma. “Shoma-kun!” he cried, running over to him. He grabbed Shoma’s wrist, ignoring his rapid-fire excuses, complete with a head shaking so fast his hair bounced around, and tugged him over to where Maia was about to start the music over. “We can do it with three now!” he said, and Jason grabbed Shoma into a hug this time, tugging him into the middle of them so they could face the camera.

Javier looked at the only person near him, Mao, and gave her a desperate look. “Please tell me you heard Shoma saying such weird things to me,” he said, only to get no response. He looked closer and realized that, under her hat, there were the white cords of earbuds hanging out. 

He groaned and let his head tip back against the wall.

~

It wasn’t that there was no basis for Shoma’s misunderstanding, Javier admitted as he stood with his arms around Yuzuru’s middle to look at the diagram for the group number choreography. He could admit that he was a bit touchy-feely with his friend, and Yuzuru let him do it when he didn’t with most people. To the wrong set of eyes, that could be read as something more than friendly things. 

And it wasn’t like Javier’s brain didn’t _wander_ sometimes. 

Javier would never tell a person ever, but he did sometimes enjoy how curvy Yuzuru’s hips were. In his defense, Yuzuru had a very feminine body and he touched it a lot and he was a grown man who didn’t have a girlfriend right now. It was only natural he might enjoy the feeling of a tiny waist that tapered to more curved hips under his hands sometimes a bit too much for someone who was his friend. It didn't hurt that, though he did not look like a girl, Yuzuru was very pretty. He had such a delicately featured face and when he smiled his cheeks puffed up and it was like watching a sunrise. He had a long neck and he often wore things that showed off his collarbones, and he just all around looked _pretty_ for a man. It wasn’t like Javier didn’t have eyes. Yuzuru was his friend, but he was a beautiful man.

Javier also realized, in the middle of tapping out the count on Yuzuru’s belly and smirking when Yuzuru wiggled trying to get away and bit back giggles at how it tickled, that maybe his naturally flirtatious nature came out some when he was goofing off with Yuzuru. It was nothing personal, it was just how he was with everyone. He was a flirtatious guy, and it was his way of getting along with people. He and Yuzuru had a closeness that might make that flirtation seem a bit more than what he meant it to be to the casual observer, though. 

“Javi,” Yuzuru warned, giving him a ‘very stern’ look. Javier smirked and tapped all of his fingers in a row, making Yuzuru flush as he tried not to give in to the urge to try and get away and laugh. “Javi, no,” he chastised, and Javier bit his lip.

“Oh? No what?” he asked, slowly walking his fingers up and down each side of Yuzuru’s waist. 

Yuzu gasped and squirmed, trying to get away. “Javi, no!” he cried, only to finally break and give into peals of honking laughter – Javier’s favorite sound, if he was honest – as Javier gave up any semblance of counting the beat and just tickled him mercilessly. “Ahhhh, no! Javi!” he cried, folding forward so that Javier had to basically hold him up with the force of his tickling. Though Javier had picked up a few phrases of Japanese from Yuzuru and his mother in Canada, he had no idea what the quick stream of words coming from Yuzuru’s mouth were, but he could guess it was something along the lines if, ‘stop it, that tickles’ and he could hear his name said every once in a while.

“Oh? What’s that? ‘I enjoy being tickled, Javi’?” he teased, and Yuzuru let out another round of laughs as he threw his head back over Javier’s shoulder, grabbing at his wrists ineffectively. Everybody had stopped to laugh at the two of them by now, and Javier couldn’t stop laughing at how red Yuzuru’s face was getting.

It was only when Yuzuru’s laughter turned into raspy gasps that Javier stopped immediately. “Oh no,” he said, tightening his hold on Yuzuru and stopping tickling him. Yuzuru waved a hand, shaking his head as he coughed and Javier stepped around in front of him. “Yuzu, are you okay?” he asked, unthinkingly grabbing the side of his neck to make him look at him. He nodded but still coughed, putting a hand over his mouth as his thin shoulders shook with the violence of the move. “Crap, do you need your inhaler?” he asked, and by now, everybody had stopped laughing and were watching with concern.

“I-“ Yuzuru tried to talk and wheezed again, giving a big cough. “I will be fine,” he said, shaking his head. He ducked his head some and took a few deep breaths and Javier cursed, pulling him into a hug, one arm around his waist as the other settled on the back of his head. Yuzuru leaned into him, resting his head on Javier’s shoulder as he took deep, slow breaths that Javier could feel. Javier closed his eyes and rubbed the back of his hair. 

“I’m so sorry. I should not have done that for so long,” Javier apologized, turning to press a kiss to the side of his head. “You sure you don’t need your inhaler?” he asked, and Yuzuru shook his head.

“I am okay,” he said, voice still a little raspy. He stood straight again, smiling bravely as he looked at Javier. “Is okay, Javi.” He patted him on the shoulder. “You did not kill me this time,” he said with a teasing grin, even though his voice was still rough.

Javier groaned. “Oh so ‘next time’ I’ll accidentally kill you. That’s great,” he said.

“So that’s how Javier plans to win,” Maia said, walking over to punch him in the arm playfully. “Just kill the competition.” Yuzuru laughed again, and then doubled over coughing.

Maia sighed. “Come on, let’s go get you some water. If you die, we’ll get in trouble,” she said, hooking an arm through Yuzuru’s elbow.

“If he dies, we’re all blaming Javier, right?” Alex said loudly, and everybody in the room nodded, making Javier roll his eyes. 

After Maia walked Yuzuru out, Javier went to sit on the bench and try and figure out the choreography on the sheet. He had only been sitting a moment when there was a thud beside him and somehow he just _knew_. “Now you try kill sex-friend, eh.” He sighed and looked over at Shoma, who was leering again. “You must not. If dead, no longer kissy-kissy,” he said, making kissy-faces at him. “Want excuse hug, not need kill sex-friend-“

Javier stood up and walked out of the room, because he knew if he didn’t, he was going to shout at Shoma, and if he shouted at Shoma, everybody would hate him. “I’m going to go see how Yuzuru is doing,” he said on his way out.

~

Yuzuru looked different in normal clothes. Every time he saw him not in his training gear, Javier thought he looked so much younger. In jeans and a baggy tee-shirt (not that any tee-shirt wouldn’t look baggy on his skinny body) Yuzuru looked like a teenage boy, not a grown man in his twenties. It fit his personality well, though, as told currently by the way Yuzuru had demanded Javier carry him around since he was the one who made his lungs decide to not want to work so well after last night’s tickling incident. 

“I must save energy to skate,” he said very plainly. “You must carry so I have energy.”

Javier rolled his eyes. “You’re lucky you’re so small,” was all he said before turning to allow Yuzuru to hop onto his back. He hefted the tiny body higher with hands under his legs and Yuzuru smirked smugly as he held onto his shoulders. 

“See? Big, strong Javi have no problems,” he said with a nod and Javier rolled his eyes but started walking. The others were waiting for them in the lobby. They were all going to go get some breakfast and do some sight-seeing this morning since they had a show that night and didn’t have to be at the rink until the afternoon. They didn’t have any other time off than this morning, so several of them planned to make the best of it. 

When they got to the lobby and the others saw their position, it was no surprise that they all laughed at them. Shoma, of course, snickered and gave Javier an exaggerated wink and wiggle of his eyebrows, and as always, nobody else saw it. He ignored him though, because Yuzuru was right there – literally – and he would be upset if Javier was mean to Shoma.

“I am, today, Yuzuru’s faithful steed,” Javier said dramatically as they approached the others. “My duty is to make sure the princess never has to walk and tire himself and his tragically wakened lungs.”

“Hey!” Yuzuru smacked him on the top of the head. “I not princess! I just have sad lungs. It is your fault lungs are sad. You made them,” he said with an exaggerated pout and Javier snorted.

“Yes, and now I am carrying you around because of my horrible deed,” he said, hefting him higher. “Alright, alright, alright, I’m carrying an extra fifty kilograms around, let’s not stand here and chat all day.”

Yuzuru rolled his eyes. “I am bigger than that,” he said, but Javier just ignored him.

Alex clapped and threw his hands up. “Alright, party!” he said, slinging an arm around Shoma, who yelped in surprise at the unexpected movement. “Vamos, short stuff!”

“Yes! Vamos!” Yuzuru agreed and Javier rolled his eyes as they started to walk.

“I regret teaching you that word now,” he teased, though he smiled at how Yuzuru leaned his head against Javier’s as he giggled to show he was just having fun goofing off. 

~

They spent a long enough time going around to see the sights that Javier was actually getting really exhausted from carrying Yuzuru anytime they walked very far (for the most part, they all took the bus or the train going places and just walked up to whatever tourist stop they were seeing). When they got to the top of a bunch of stairs to see some monument, he tapped Yuzuru’s thigh. “Alright, Yuzu, time to get down for a bit.” Yuzuru slid off his back and squawked when he misjudged the distance and fell straight to his butt, giggling at himself as he sat there with his knees up and his butt on the ground. 

“I forget you are not so much more tall than me. I expected further,” he said, taking Javier’s hand to stand up. He looked up into Javier’s eyes only a few inches and shook his head. “You so much bigger to not be way big.” 

Javier fluffed his hair and shoved him ahead playfully. “Just walk, you,” he said, slinging an arm around his friend’s shoulders as they followed the rest of the group towards the monument. Yuzuru left him and went with Kanako to take a photo and Javier followed the rest of the group towards the big… thing. It was just some big rock with names and stuff on it, so most people were taking silly photos in front of it and posing. 

He was watching Yuzuru making faces and taking photos when he felt a presence at his side and, sure enough, it was Shoma. He had that dirty smirk on his face, and Javier closed his eyes, waiting for whatever dirty comment he would make. “How he know how ‘big’ you are if not sex-friend, eh?” he asked, nudging Javier with his elbow a few times, and for some reason, one he wouldn’t understand later, Javier turned around and just _let loose_.

“STOP PESTERING ME AND FOLLOWING ME AROUND AND GIVING ME THOSE UGLY LOOKS AND SAYING SHIT TO ME AND LYING ALL THE TIME, YOU STUPID LITTLE BOY! YOU ARE AN ADULT! ACT LIKE IT, YOU VILE LITTLE COCKROACH!”

When Javier stopped shouting at him, his chest was heaving, and much to his shock, Shoma looked _terrified_. The kid had backed away and was cowering with wide eyes turned on Javier. He looked confused and scared. Javier realized he probably hadn’t understood him shouting at him and was just startled by an angry man screaming in his face. It was hard to feel guilty, though, because Shoma was the most annoying brat Javier had ever had to put up with. It only annoyed him further when Shoma looked past Javier and adopted a _teary_ gaze. That kid was a hell of an actor, Javier had to give him that. “Oh stop that,” he said. “You are not going to cry, you annoying shit-“

“What did you yell for?” Javier grimaced at the concern in Yuzuru’s voice as he rushed past him, only to gasp and and put his arms around Shoma when he saw his face, looking shocked at Javier over Shoma’s head. Shoma _sniffled_ and said something Javier couldn’t understand and Yuzuru looked _pissed_ when he looked back at Javier. “You shout at Shoma?! What for?!”

Javier rolled his eyes. “Of course, you just believe him-“

“I heard you shout!” he countered. “Are you crazy?!”

“Hey, guys, what’s going on?” Mao asked as she walked over, only to gasp when she saw Shoma’s face. “What happened?” she asked, and Yuzuru started spitting angry Japanese. Javier could see her face go from concern to anger before she turned to Javier. “What the hell, Javi?”

Javier spluttered. “Why are you ganging up on me?! He’s an annoying little shit who keeps giving me a hard time and won’t lay off even though I’ve asked him repeatedly-“

“Do not call him that,” Yuzuru snapped, glaring. 

Alex slung an arm around Javier’s shoulders as he arrived. “Whoa, hey, what’s going on-“

“Apologize,” Mao said sternly, and Javier scoffed, ignoring her. “Javier Fernandez, you apologize-“

“I’m not apologizing for shit!” he said, throwing his hands out. “He’s a _demon_ and nobody else sees the shit he throws at me all the time-“

“Shoma is a nice person,” Mao warned him. “He’s quiet and shy, how could he ever bother you?”

“Because you don’t see him!” he stressed. “He follows me around just to talk shit and harass me!”

Shoma mumbled something and Yuzuru turned angry eyes at Javier. “Shoma says he was just playing a joke. You did not make him think you did not find it funny. He did not know better-“

“Oh _bullshit_ ,” Javier interrupted loudly, and Alex grabbed him around the shoulders.

“Okay, okay, we’re gonna walk away now,” he said, bodily dragging Javier away from them. “I’ll figure this out, guys, no need to keep fighting in public!” he called, and Maia broke away from her group to run over and follow them as Alex led him away, back down the steps from the monument. “Let’s just go chill somewhere,” he suggested, and Javier gritted his teeth against how angry he still was.

Shoma did look really scared, though, so part of him felt a little bad as he started to cool down.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some more! I hope you guys like this one too. Thank you for the kind comments on the previous chapters so far!
> 
> You may noticed I added some more tags. I am not sure how to tag this quite yet, so if you have any tags I seem to be missing, feel free to let me know what I should add!

“Okay, now what was that?” Javier ducked his head in shame as he sipped his drink, hiding his eyes from Alex. 

Maia nudged his foot from where she sat at his right on the short side of the table. “Seriously,” she said. “You went off on Shoma.”

Javier steamed. “Because that little- little-“ He growled in frustration, slamming his hand against the arm of his chair. “I’m even more angry because now everybody is mad at me for finally getting fed up with his crap.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Dude, what crap? He’s the sweetest kid alive-“

“Except for Jason, maybe,” Maia added, and Alex nodded to his sister.

“Except for Jason,” he agreed. 

Javier scoffed. “He’s a little demon and none of the rest of you see it. He’s always skulking around and leering and waiting for everybody else to be busy with something else so none of you notice when he comes up to me and starts making these ridiculous comments-“ He looked at Alex. “You remember the day I asked if Shoma was being weird and you said he was looking for me earlier? All this started back then.”

Alex frowned. “What? That was like two weeks ago-“

“Yes!” Javier stressed. “That day he made some strange comment that I thought someone might have put him up to, because someone has clearly taught him to say filthy things in English, but since then it’s become clear he’s just being a brat, and I’m sick of everyone else not noticing that he’s being like he is.”

Maia nodded, clearly trying to think back as she glanced away. “Well, if someone taught him to say dirty things, it’s not his fault-“

“Oh no,” Javier said, waving a finger. “The first time I thought maybe it was that, but now I know it’s of his doing.” He hesitated, unsure if he should admit it, but he felt like it would be worse if he didn’t. He put a hand to his forehead, already knowing this would become gossip after spilling to these two. “The first day, he asked me where Yuzuru was, because I should know where my _boyfriend_ is, and when I was confused and told him Yuzuru is _not_ my boyfriend, he changed it to ‘sex-friend’, and said I would know because we’re always-“ He lowered his voice after glancing at the other tables. “We’re always attached at the dick-“

“What?!” Alex asked in a loud, startled yelp, only to curse when Maia kicked him warningly. “Sorry, sorry,” he said quickly, then shook his head. “Shoma said that?!”

Javier gave him a frustrated look. “Yes, and it’s only gone on from there. Every time he can corner me, he make some comment about being jealous of people hugging my ‘sex friend’, or yesterday when I tickled Yuzuru until he started coughing, afterwards, Shoma just wandered over and told me I shouldn’t kill my sex friend, because then I won’t have a sex friend.” He shook his head. “I’ve asked him repeatedly to just lay off, and it’s been making me angry for so long, and today I just snapped.” He rubbed a hand over his face.

“Woooow,” Maia said, and Alex nodded.

“What she said,” he added and Javier rolled his eyes. “I mean, I would’ve never expected that, but honestly, it’s not that bad, is it?” Alex asked, and Javier gave him a flat look.

Maia nodded. “He’s nineteen and bored. He’s the kind of kid that wants to sit around playing video games alone, not sit around with the rest of us. He’s just bored and picking on you is fun.”

Javier huffed. “Yes, but it’s not fun for me. I’m so sick of his crap. It isn’t remotely true and it isn’t fun having people make stupid remarks about such.”

“But why does it bother you so much?” she asked. “So he’s making jokes about you dating your friend. Big deal.”

“Yeah, Maia teases me about having a crush on you all the time,” Alex added matter-of-factly.

Javier stilled and looked at Alex in confusion. “You have a crush on me?” he asked, trying to figure out why the hell he would admit to that so easily.

Alex snorted. “No, but that’s the point,” he said. “It’s only funny because it isn’t true. If I did have a crush on you and she made fun of me for it, it would just be mean! I don’t get offended by it, because I just think you’re really fun to hang out with, so what does it matter?” He hesitated, looking at Javier suspiciously suddenly. “Well, unless you’re disgusted by that sort of thing,” he said slowly, and Javier felt his cheeks flush.

“No! I’m not homophobic!” he said quickly. He cursed under his breath. “The problem isn’t that he’s implying I have sex with men, the problem is that he’s making comments about me having sex with Yuzuru. I don’t want someone to get the wrong idea.”

Alex scrunched up his nose. “Probably should’ve thought about that before you carried Yuzuru around on your back all day,” he said, and Maia nodded.

“And told the world he had stolen your soul that one time.”

Alex nodded. “Or let Yuzuru say in that documentary that you called him ‘the champion of your heart’. That was pretty gay, as far as seeming gay goes.”

“And all the touching his face,” Maia added.

“And his waist.”

“And the hugs that go on for a super long time.”

“Not to mention-“

Javier spluttered. “Alright now, I don’t need the two of you joining Shoma’s ridiculous campaign,” he said, and Alex shook his head.

“Nah, dude, we totally know you’re just friends with him, but I mean… you are very… handsy. And flirtations,” he added. “You put your hands on his hips and thighs, man. I know you’re European, but even by your standards, that’s some pretty gay stuff,” Alex said plainly, making Maia giggle and nod.

Javier grimaced. “I am just flirtatious by nature. And- and physically affectionate.”

Maia gave him a look. “You literally only do those things with Yuzuru. Trust me, Shoma isn’t starting any rumors that don’t already exist.”

Javier tilted his head worriedly as he thought about it. Maybe they had something there. He didn’t really do all those things with others. “It’s just… Yuzuru and I have a bond. It’s not like that. He just lets me be all touchy and others wouldn’t welcome it.”

Alex batted his eyelashes comically. “Are you suuuuure?” Javier laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Yuzuru and I have a strange relationship is all. We are friends but not the kind of friends who call each other or text when we’re not in the same place.” He struggled to put his friendship with Yuzuru into words. “We are… unique.” He waved a hand. “Since he came to train with Brian, we have consistently been each other’s main competitor, each other’s training mate, and still friends. When Yuzu first came to Toronto, he barely understood English, and my accent confused him more, so we learned to communicate without talking, and it makes us more physical, and more connected to each other.” He shrugged. “Maybe that comes across the wrong way sometimes. It’s just that nobody else knows exactly what our lives are like than each other. It’s a very unique bond. When we are not together, we don’t have anything to do with each other, really, but when we are in the same place, we are perfectly in tune.”

Maia nodded. “And we believe you.”

“We mostly believe you,” Alex amended. “It’s still pretty gay,” he said, and Maia rolled her eyes and continued.

“It isn’t like nobody ever talks about it, it’s just that Shoma’s having fun at your expense over it,” she said. “He’s probably just trying to find something to joke about with you.”

“Well he failed,” Javier grumbled. He sighed, hanging his head. “Everybody is going to be so mad at me, but Yuzuru is going to be _pissed_ ,” he stressed and Alex snorted and nodded.

“Oh yeah. Yuzuru is going to hunt you down for that. I think Shoma was crying. Yuzuru thinks of Shoma like a baby brother, so he’s going to kick your ass,” he said, and Maia nodded.

“You better hope your ‘unique bond’ stops him from trying to kill you with his skates like he did Patrick that time,” she said, and Javier snorted in amusement, unable to help himself. They all loved to tease Yuzuru and claim he was trying to murder Patrick even now, years later, and it was still hilarious.

Javier really hoped Yuzuru wasn’t too mad.

~

Yuzuru was _furious_.

Javier had made it back to the hotel to get ready to go to the rink and he got off the elevator and immediately tried to get back on it since he spotted Yuzuru outside his door down the hall. However, the doors shut before he could rush back to the elevator in time, and he had to turn and face Yuzuru, who was a splotchy red color and looked murderous. He slowly approached him, digging his room key out, and Yuzuru’s eyes narrowed to slits as he silently watched him come closer.

Javier felt somewhat like someone approaching a dangerous animal he really shouldn’t be approaching. Yuzuru stepped out of the way of the door and Javier suspiciously eyed him as he inserted his key card and the handle turned green. When he opened the door, Yuzuru stepped into the room before he could and he had no choice but to follow him inside. 

As soon as he got in the room, Yuzuru’s silence ended as he turned to Javier the second the door shut and snapped. “What you do today, it not okay!” he shouted. “You are mean, Javier Fernandez, and it not okay!” Javier knew it was bad if Yuzuru was clearly struggling to use English, he was so angry. “Shoma cried when you yell! He _cried_!” he stressed. “You make him cry cause you yell and are mean to him!”

Javier ducked his head. “Look, I know I shouldn’t have yelled, but-“

“No but!” Yuzuru pressed. “There no reason to ever yell at him. He so nice to everybody, and you are not!”

Javier bristled a bit at that. “You might be surprised,” he said, and Yuzuru looked at him incredulously.

“What surprise? Shoma is nice and you are not nice to him-“

“He sure isn’t nice to me lately,” Javier defended, though he didn’t get angry like Yuzuru was. He knew better than to ever yell at Yuzuru. Yuzuru wouldn’t speak to him for weeks if he yelled, and in a week, Yuzuru would be gone, so Javier couldn’t risk that. “Shoma has been very annoying to me lately, and I have asked him to stop many times, but he won’t.”

Yuzuru crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his chin. “I don’t believe you.”

Javier rolled his eyes. “Of course you don’t. Nobody has before today. I’ve asked people repeatedly if they noticed the crap Shoma was saying to me, and all the times he kept coming up to me after nobody else was looking, and of course, nobody would believe that sweet little Shoma could be annoying.” 

Yuzuru looked confused. “Shoma comes to you when nobody is looking?”

“I told you when it started,” he said to Yuzuru. “The thing about talking about my sex life.” 

Yuzuru’s eyes widened. “Shoma still doing that? I thought he was just making jokes.”

“I think he still thinks he is,” Javier admitted heavily, walking past Yuzuru to flop onto his bed on his back. He stared up at the ceiling, stretching his arms out either way. “Alex and Maia made me realize he probably thinks he’s being funny and doesn’t understand he’s being rude and annoying. He’s trying to joke with me because he and I don’t really have anything in common, but it is rude and uncalled for, especially after I told him to stop so many times.”

“What is he saying?” Yuzuru fell onto the bed beside Javier, propping on his elbows to look down at him from his side. Javier snorted at the irony and crossed his arms behind his head, propping it up so he could look at Yuzuru.

Javier gave Yuzuru an awkward grimace. “Remember the boyfriend thing and then the sex friend thing?” he asked, and Yuzuru nodded with a frown. “He was talking about you,” he said, and Yuzuru’s eyes widened.

“Shoma says I’m your sex friend?!” he asked, clearly shocked. “What he say that for?” He made a face. “Shoma-kun knows better than that.”

Javier laughed at his scrunchy nose. “He would make comments about it. Like when I made you start coughing from tickling you, he said I shouldn’t kill my sex friend or I can’t have sex with you anymore.”

Yuzuru rolled his eyes. “Wow, you were not making joke when you said he was demon,” he said, and Javier laughed at how quickly Yuzuru’s opinion changed when he knew the truth. He sighed, shaking his head. “Shoma-kun was probably not trying to be rude. He is strange boy and very shy. He is not good at talking to people. He has odd sense of humor,” he said and Javier snorted.

“I noticed,” he said flatly.

Yuzuru laid down on his front, resting his cheek on Javier’s bicep as he wiggled closer until their sides were pressed together, his skinny arms under his chest. “What he say today to make you yell?” he asked, and Javier blushed at the memory.

“You made a comment about how big I am, and Shoma said, ‘how does he know how big you are if you aren’t having sex.’” he repeated. Yuzuru frowned in confusion, and Javier cleared his throat. “Think about something that might be ‘big’ in relation to sex,” he prodded, and Yuzuru thought for a moment before suddenly his eyes went wide and he _blushed_.

“Shoma said that?!” he nearly squeaked in shock. “Oh no,” he said, turning his face in to hide against Javier’s sleeve. “That is so dirty and he is just a child!” he moaned and Javier snorted.

“Yuzu, he’s nineteen, all nineteen year old boys think about is sex jokes. You were that age two years ago-“

“And I not make sex jokes!” Yuzuru defended, his voice muffled by Javier’s sleeve. “Shoma actual say I talk about your man part. He really is demon.”

Javier laughed out loud at the ‘man part’ comment. “Okay, this was almost all worth it just to hear you call my penis a ‘man part’,” he said and Yuzuru’s ears turned even redder. 

“Hate you, Javi,” he mumbled, though he did so after wiggling until he was pressed entirely against Javier’s side, his face hidden in the fabric of Javier’s shirt on his chest. “No wonder you get mad.”

Javier removed his left hand from under his head and slid it into Yuzuru’s hair. “So I am forgiven for yelling?”

Yuzuru lifted his head, narrowing his eyes. “No, because you still did not have to be mean. Shoma cried, Javi,” he stressed and Javier grimaced. He did feel bad about that. “You scare him and he did not understand. I think he wants to be friends but doesn’t know how, so he try teasing.” He sighed. “Don’t know why he tease about sex with me, though. That does not make sense.”

Javier’s stomach twisted and he hesitated to say anything, especially when he realized his hand has migrated from ruffling his hair to resting on Yuzuru’s waist as Yuzuru practically lay on his chest. He glanced at Yuzuru, looking into his eyes. “Well… Alex and Maia say it isn’t like nobody else makes those kinds of comments about us. They just don’t do it like him.”

Yuzuru frowned. “But why? You like girls. They know that. You had girlfriend for long time.”

Javier chuckled. “Yuzu, look at us right now,” he said, and Yuzuru glanced down at the arm around his waist and his hand on Javier’s chest and he stilled. 

“Oh. I guess we are very close,” Yuzuru said, a little red in the ears again. It was so cute, Javier thought. “But… why bad?” he mused. “It is not normal, but girls do it always.” He made a face. “I don’t understand that. Girls always hug, hug, hug, and hold hand, and even do face kiss only with friends. I never get why boys not do it to.” He patted Javier’s chest. “I am not wrong to like hugging. You are important for me. You understand even when I have bad English.” He put his hand over Javier’s heart. “I like you know me in here. You with me for many important things. I want stand beside you on podium always, because you work hard and I see.” He gave Javier a sweet smile and pulled Javier’s free hand to his own heart. “Why should I not hug person who makes heart go doki doki?”

Javier swallowed hard, because _God_ the way Yuzuru looked at him was almost enough to make a liar out of him and prove Shoma right in one sense. “I don’t think that is what the girls are feeling when they hug and hold hands, Yuzu,” he said softly, though he slid his hand from Yuzuru’s chest up to his neck, placing his thumb lightly over the pulse point in his neck, where that same rhythm beat. “It isn’t the hugging that is different,” he said, nodding his chin towards the hand over his heart.

Yuzuru laid his head on Javier’s chest, right over Javier’s heart, and Javier felt it skip a beat. “See? Go doki doki,” he said softly. “If this is not friends, then what is it, Javi?” he asked quietly. “We do not have sex. Shoma is wrong about sex friends.”

“I know,” Javier said, hand still curled around Yuzuru’s neck, thumb sliding across his throat as he looked down at the black head on his chest. “You are my friend. You have always been my friend, even when we couldn’t communicate well. But even the girls do not do this,” he said, pressing his finger against Yuzuru’s pulse point, feeling how it sped up some at his touch.

“Then what?” Yuzuru all but whispered, tightening his hold on Javier. Javier could hear the confusion evident in his voice and knew he was just as desperate for some sort of label as Javier was, but nothing came to mind.

Javier sighed and closed his eyes, pressing his lips to Yuzuru’s hair. “I don’t know.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy you liked the last chapter, everybody! This is a long one, so hopefully you'll enjoy this one, too! (Don't get too used to very long chapters, haha, I cannot promise them to ALL be this long!)

Javier and Yuzuru only were able to lay there for a few minutes before they had to get ready and go to the rink. Yuzuru had to go get his things from his room, but before he left he did something that Javier still couldn’t stop thinking about.

He wrapped his arms around Javier’s neck the way he usually did when they hugged, but this time he stood on his toes enough to press their foreheads together. Javier had thought for a moment he was going to try and kiss him, but he didn’t. He just stood there, looking into Javier’s eyes as their bodies pressed together from forehead to knees, and Javier couldn’t take his eyes away from Yuzuru’s until he finally seemed to find whatever he was looking for – or gave up looking – and pulled way, leaving without so much as a word.

Waiting for the performance that night was really weird because he and Yuzuru had a tension between them that he had a feeling the others could tell and just thought they had fought. Shoma was very quiet and Javier wanted to find time to apologize, but some of the girls were giving him dirty looks while hovering around Shoma, so he knew better than to try.

~

Javier feared things would become awkward between him and Yuzuru, but when they got back to the hotel that night, Javier went with Yuzuru to his room to play video games until they both had to go to sleep just as usual.

The next morning, they were off to their final destination for two days before everybody went back to their lives, and while Javier was glad Yuzuru had been there as long as he had – he rarely traveled with the rest of them consistently – it was going to be hard to say goodbye to him for the _month_ until Yuzuru came back to Canada. 

When they got onto the bus, Javier spotted Shoma sitting beside Yuzuru and he snuck out of his seat beside Alex and walked over to climb onto the seat in front of them, hanging over the back. “Hey Shoma,” he said, and Shoma looked up at him with big, sad eyes that reminded him exactly why everybody loved that kid so much. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he said, hands clasped together over the back of the seat. “It’s been brought to my attention you were trying to be funny and just didn’t understand it wasn’t really funny, and I was really mean to yell.”

Shoma ducked his head some. “I sorry, too,” he said, and Yuzuru looked surprised. “Yuzu-kun tell me I not should say things. Say things that bad not funny.” He seemed to struggle with what he wanted to say, and he turned to Yuzuru and said something in their shared language.

Yuzuru smiled. “He want you to know he is just bad at making people laugh on purpose, usually they just laugh when he does something dumb.”

“I not say that!” Shoma cried, shoving Yuzuru lightly.

Javier grinned at Yuzuru, who looked too pleased with himself. “Now who is being mean to Shoma? Maybe I should get loud with you in your hotel room this time.”

“Whoaaaaa, there are little ears next to you!” Maia stood up in the seat behind Yuzuru and Shoma and put her hands over Shoma’s ears. “Keep that dirty talk between you two!” she said, and Javier rolled his eyes while Yuzuru blushed but laughed.

Shoma shrugged her off. “I am man, not baby,” he informed her, and she tutted, patting the top of his head.

“Sure, Shoma.” She sat back in her seat and Yuzuru laughed his honking giggle at Shoma’s offended expression. 

He pouted. “I grown up,” he defended, and Yuzuru laughed harder. 

Javier rolled his eyes at Yuzuru. “You know you are only two years older than him,” he pointed out. “Shoma’s an adult, even if he is small.”

Shoma said something to Yuzuru and Yuzuru spluttered, flushing, and went, “Ewwwww!”

Javier raised an eyebrow. “What did he say?”

Yuzuru put a hand over his eyes. “He say horrific things and they are lies.”

Shoma rolled his eyes at Yuzuru’s dramatics. “Say have sex before,” he said to Javier, whose jaw _dropped_. Shoma scoffed. “What? You tell I adult.”

“I know, but you really do look about fourteen,” Javier said without thinking, then cringed. “Sorry, I know that has to annoy you, I just- it’s true,” he said, making a face. “I’m trying to figure out what girl looked at you and thought ‘yeah, I want a piece of that’ unless she was a pervert who likes young boys.”

“Yes! Pervert who creepy on small boys, it have to be!” Yuzuru said, looking traumatized.

Shoma shrugged, looking unembarrassed. “Before skate year, I have girlfriend, but summer train for season mean no time for girlfriend.”

Javier leaned in. “Was she a creepy old lady?” he asked curiously, and Shoma frowned until Yuzuru muttered something, seeming to not want to be in that conversation, and Shoma sighed and looked at Javier like he was being annoying on purpose. (He was, he could admit that).

“Girl same old as me,” he said, and Javier just shook his head, only to pause. 

“Well, Yuzuru did look really young when he was around that age. He actually seemed to hit puberty about two years ago,” he said, and Yuzuru gave him an offended look.

“Hey, rude!”

“It’s true,” he teased, leaning more towards Yuzuru’s seat than Shoma’s. “You started filling out the last couple of years. Your mom even said you started shaving last year,” he teased and Yuzuru rolled his eyes at Javier.

“Baka,” he said, and Javier faked offense, putting a hand on his chest.

“Hey, I know that one, and it’s not nice,” he said in mock anger. 

“Have better one,” Yuzuru said, smiling as he got a little sassy. “Loco,” he said and Javier bit back a grin, because it was always so adorable when Yuzuru said things in Spanish.

“Oh, I know that word!” Shoma said, smiling brightly, and looking even more like a sweet little child than usual.

Javier was really starting to understand why the ‘had sex before’ thing freaked Yuzuru out so much because _wow_ that was a thought to make one feel dirty. “I’m going back to sit with an actual adult, so I’ll leave you to your trauma, Yuzu,” he teased, sliding out of the seat to go back to sit beside Alex.

Alex looked at him when he sat down. “Yo, what did you do to Yuzuru? He’s having an aneurism or something,” he said, glancing back at Yuzuru, who was staring blankly ahead, looking traumatized.

Javier snickered at him and turned back to face forward. “He just found out Shoma’s had sex before,” he said simply and Alex’s eyes widened in horror as he, too, turned forward and stared blankly into the distance, clearly also traumatized. 

~

The last stop on the road was in Sendai, Yuzuru’s hometown, so Yuzuru was insanely busy the whole time he wasn’t skating or sleeping. When everything was over, much to Javier’s joy, he got to put off his goodbye to Yuzuru for a bit longer because Yuzuru’s mother invited him to come stay with them for a few days, and Yuzuru accepted for him before he could even say anything.

Javier had met Yuzuru’s mother and was even somewhat friendly with her after all these years. She was a nice woman, if reserved and quiet. Her English at first had been better than Yuzuru’s, though by now his had surpassed hers, so he had been able to talk to her when he and Yuzuru were still mostly communicating with stray words and hand gestures.

Javier knew next to nothing about Yuzuru’s father, however. He knew Yuzuru had an older sister, because he had talked once about how she started skating before he did, much like Javier’s own older sister had, but he had never met her. Neither she nor Yuzuru’s father had ever shown up at a competition while Javier was around Yuzuru. He was a little worried he would come across as rude to them since he was a stranger who would be staying in their home that was familiar with Yuzuru’s mother, Yumi, and was so close to Yuzuru. 

His fears were unfounded, however. When he and Yuzuru arrived at Yuzuru’s house, Yuzuru eager to be home and to have Javier there, the door opened to a young woman around Javier’s age who dragged Yuzuru into a hug, speaking rapid-fire, only to release him and then bow repeatedly to Javier. Yuzuru introduced him to his sister and his father, though his mother wasn’t home yet, and he was amused to find that both his father and sister had better English than Yuzuru. Much like Yuzuru’s mother, they were very nice, though. 

When he and Yuzuru took their bags to Yuzuru’s room, Yuzuru flopped onto his bed and sighed, stretching out like a starfish on the narrow space. Javier smiled fondly at the content look on Yuzuru’s face and he came over to sit on the floor beside the bed, leaning back against it so he could look at Yuzuru. “Glad to be home?” he asked, and Yuzuru rolled onto his side and nodded, tucking his hands under his face as he looked at Javier.

“It has been long time,” Yuzuru said with a smile. “Home in Toronto not like _home_ ,” he said. He reached out and started playing with Javier’s curls absently. “Pyon-pyon,” he said, then giggled at his own sound effects for Javier’s springy curls.

Javier rolled his eyes. “I need a haircut, huh?”

Yuzuru shook his head. “I like it,” he said, wrapping a curl around his finger. “I like bouncy hair. I liked when Shoma has bouncy hair,” he said, then stopped and grimaced. 

Javier snickered. “Remembering the bus?”

“IT’S JUST SO WRONG!” Yuzuru complained loudly, rolling over to turn his back to Javier. “Why you tease him and make him say such horrible thing?”

Javier scoffed. “So it’s _my_ fault now, right,” he said, reaching up onto the bed to tickle Yuzuru’s ribs until he giggled and rolled back over to face him. 

Yuzuru sighed heavily and scrunched up his nose. “But really. _Shoma_.”

Javier chuckled. “It is kind of disturbing. He’s an adult and all, but he looks like a little child.”

“What girl think ‘oh yeah, like that one’ about _Shoma_ ,” Yuzuru said, shaking his head. “I would not think Shoma ever even kiss a girl! He looks like he is fourteen!” Yuzuru mimed gagging.

“He is nineteen though,” Javier reminded him. “He was eighteen last summer. What eighteen year old does not have sex?”

“A lot of them,” Yuzuru defended. “Many eighteen year old not have sex.”

Javier raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Oh? Are you admitting you were an eighteen year old virgin?” he teased, and Yuzuru blushed, rolling so his back was to Javier. “Oh come on,” he said, settling his hand on his side again. “Don’t be embarrassed. You are right, I’m sure plenty of people were still virgins at eighteen.”

“You tease me,” Yuzuru mumbled, almost too low for Javier to hear, and Javier sighed, getting to his knees so he could prop his elbows on the bed and look over Yuzuru’s shoulder. 

“I’m not teasing, I’m serious. I’m sure lots of people were nineteen before they had sex,” he said, and Yuzuru grumbled under his breath. Javier hesitated and raised an eyebrow. “Twenty before they had sex?” he tried, but Yuzuru just hunched his shoulders up to his ears, curling further into a ball. Suddenly Javier had a realization. “Yuzuru… are you a virgin?” he asked, and Yuzuru flopped onto his belly, hiding his face into his pillow.

“No! Or course not! Go away,” he said, voice muffled, and Javier sat back on his heels, a little stunned.

“Oh. I just thought that… well you’re Yuzuru Hanyu,” he said, and Yuzuru turned his head to look at him, glowering with a pout.

“I know my name, Javi,” he whined, and Javier bit back a smile, knowing he would take it the wrong way if Javier showed amusement. 

“I just mean you’re the most famous figure skater in the world,” Javier said, putting his hand on Yuzuru’s back to stroke up and down and try and calm him down. “I just assumed, you know.”

Yuzuru made a face. “What? You think I sleep with fans? Most fans older than my mom!” he said, and Javier had to admit, he was telling the truth. Yuzuru’s fans included people of all ages and genders, but the older ladies especially thought he was a cute little child. He sighed heavily, whimpering as he pouted. “It not like I can meet anybody. I famous in Japan so I can’t go on date with anybody. And when traveling, I can’t know if I can trust people. Toronto is only place my mom is not afraid of people knowing but I don’t know anybody but people we train with.”

Javier tilted his head in confusion. “Afraid of people knowing what?” he asked, and Yuzuru looked at him in equal confusion.

“Know I like boys,” he said as if Javier was stupid for not knowing what he meant, but Javier just raised an eyebrow. Yuzuru frowned. “You did not know? How we friends for so long and you did not know I do not like girls?” He sat up, and patted Javier on the top of the head, sighing. “Poor Javi. So dumb sometimes.”

“Hey,” Javier said, swatting his hand away. “I am not surprised. I just didn’t know that. Why would I?” he asked, thinking about it. “It isn’t like you and I talk about girls… or well, boys I guess,” he said, and Yuzuru laughed at his expression.

“I thought you know. Mom made me tell everybody that helps with training,” he explained. “I figure there would be gossip, but I guess what Brian and Tracy promise about not letting it become gossip was true.” He smiled brighter. “I thought everybody know but nobody say anything.”

Javier frowned. “Why would your mother make you tell them? It isn’t really any of their business. Sure, they are trustworthy, but it isn’t about skating so it wasn’t necessary.”

Yuzuru ducked his head sheepishly. “I… get in trouble before,” he confessed. “It is not why I wanted to change at all,” he said quickly. “It was after,” he added. 

Javier raised an eyebrow. “Go on,” he said, resting his elbows on the bed and propping his chin in his hands with a smirk. “I love good gossip!”

Yuzuru blushed, to his amusement, and pulled at the thread of his pants. “Remember how when I first join Cricket Club, I just traveled much so I could finish school?” Javier nodded. “When I was home, there was… incident.” He ducked his head. “There was boy at school. He was cute and nice, so I liked him, and when we studied together one day after school, I kissed him. And he liked me, too, but when we walked home, he kissed me outside his house and his mother saw from the window,” he said, and Javier grimaced. Yuzuru shook his head sadly. “She was mad and threaten to tell newspapers Yuzuru Hanyu kiss boys, and it was bad. The JSF got involved. There were lawyers and everything,” he mumbled. “In the end, I have to take exams early and finish school without going back. When I got back to training, my mom made me tell Brian and Tracy what happened.”

Javier reached out and curled his hand around the side of Yuzuru’s neck, the way he always did. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” Yuzuru shrugged and Javier stroked his jawbone. “Your parents… do they not like it?”

Yuzuru scrunched his nose, clearly trying to think of how to say what he wanted to say. “They don’t like, but they do not treat me bad for it,” he decided upon. “I think they more scared for me than anything. Not so many people would like it if it comes out I am gay. People would be very cruel on the internet and stuff like that.”

Javier nodded. “Yeah, there are some real assholes out there,” he agreed and Yuzuru chuckled at his cursing. 

“But it okay,” Yuzuru said, patting Javier on the cheek playfully. “I not ashamed. It just is how I am made. But nobody needs to know, so it is not a problem. Most of my friends know. I thought you know,” he said pointedly. “You know me even without words.”

Javier smiled warmly. “It just isn’t something that has come up.” He stroked his cheek with his thumb and smiled at how Yuzuru’s cheek bunched up as he smiled, making them puffy. One of his favorite things was how puffy Yuzuru’s cheeks got when he smiled.

“Yu-chan!” The door opened with only Saya’s call as warning and Javier and Yuzuru jerked their hands away from each other’s faces quickly, though going by the smirk on her face she saw that. 

Yuzuru turned a little pink in the cheeks and said something to her in Japanese but she just laughed and replied in English so Javier could understand. “Our mother is home now and wanted you two to come help her cook dinner. She says, ‘Javi-kun is such a good helper with the cooking’,” she said, mimicking Yumi’s voice pretty well.

Javier grinned. “It took a few years, but after coming over to dinner once, I started helping her to be nice, and she gave up trying to stop me when she found out that, unlike Yuzu, I can’t actually set water on fire.”

Yuzuru huffed. “That one time!” he said, and Saya snorted but left. “So rude,” Yuzuru said and Javier just smiled as he stood up, holding his hand out to Yuzuru. Yuzuru took his hand and let him help him to his feet, then stalked ahead of him, clearly offended by his teasing.

Javier just grabbed his waist and tickled him just enough to make him squeak adorably and elbow Javier in the ribs on his way out. The sore ribs was worth how cute it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is actually up to 20.000 words so far, so you can definitely expect much more! That's why I am posting so fast, because I have so much written. If I catch up, then we'll see, but hopefully this will continue and hopefully you will not get bored by such a long story!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys will be REALLY mad at me when you finish this chapter, but hopefully not too mad!
> 
> Hope you like it!

Javier _loved_ Yuzuru around his family. At first they had started out speaking in English for Javier to understand as well, but after a while, Yuzuru slipped into his mother tongue and his parents and sister followed, and Javier didn’t even care, because Yuzuru was always more animated and confident when he wasn’t mentally translating things. Javier didn’t even care that he didn’t understand them, he was happy just watching. 

After dinner, he insisted on helping Yuzuru’s sister with the dishes, cranking up the charm when she tried to convince him he was a guest and shouldn’t help until she gave in. He felt like he should be helping out to thank them for the hospitality. He had never expected Yuzuru’s family to welcome him to stay with them for a few days. Yuzuru didn’t even offer to help – the lazy bum – and went off to watch baseball with his dad while Javier and Saya cleaned up after dinner.

He really wanted to make a good impression, and he was pretty sure going by the way he was able to make Saya laugh that things were going well. “Yu-chan was right,” she said, knocking her shoulder into his. “You’re a funny guy.”

Javier preened a bit at that. “Oh? Yuzuru talks about me?” he asked, and she rolled her eyes.

“Always,” she stressed. “Everything about Canada ends up being about you in the end. It starts with skating and then goes to how much he loves his coach, and ends up being about some fun thing he did with you,” she said and Javier felt a little too pleased about that. “Our mom told me how he actually goes places with you and goes to hang out and stuff. Yuzuru’s never been that outgoing,” she said and Javier wasn’t surprised to hear that. If it wasn’t about figure skating, Yuzuru rarely did anything. The one thing he would do was play video games and con Javier into buying him food somewhere. 

“He’s just very focused,” Javier said, trying to defend Yuzuru some. “He spends all his time skating or doing his studies, and his English was very bad for a while there. It is better now, but it took him a long time.”

“Yeah, about that,” she said, looking up at him. “With your accent, how did you end up being the one he could understand the easiest?” she asked, and Javier smirked.

“I’ll have you know most people like my charming Spanish accent,” he joked and she snickered and shoved him with her elbow. “No it was not easy,” he admitted. “I don’t know why I was able to make him understand me better. I think it is just that we both were in very similar situations. We came to our coach because we were so devoted to skating and wanting to be the best. Nothing is more important than that. And figure skating is visual,” he explained as he dried a dish. “We learned to speak to each other through gestures and looks and stuff while we were training together. It’s not hard to understand figure skating, and because he had to practice English while skating with me, he got better and understands me better.”

Saya smiled at him. “You really understand him,” she realized and Javier suddenly felt the strangest wave of bashfulness. He ducked his head some and she hummed. “My brother, he is a very strange boy. Not many can understand him how you seem to. He is… unique.”

“Well that’s for sure,” Javier said with a snort. “There is not a thing about Yuzuru that isn’t unique. He has more quirks than anybody else I’ve ever known, and in our sport, there is nobody else that can ever be like Yuzuru.” Javier put a hand on his chest. “Even when he beats me, I can’t be that upset to be standing on the second place podium, because when Yuzuru is having a good day, there is no way to beat him. It is impossible. And he deserves it,” he said fondly. “Nobody works harder than him and I feel lucky to even be allowed to be around him. I am a better skater and just a better person for having Yuzu in my life,” he said, shaking his head a bit as he looked at the next dish to dry. “I hate to think of where I would be right now if I had never known Yuzuru.”

After a long pause he started to realize how sappy he had gotten, but when he glanced at Saya, he just saw an amused smile on her face. He raised an eyebrow and she chuckled. “Wow, Yu-chan got very lucky with such a good boyfriend,” she said and Javier’s eyes widened and he flushed.

“ _Boyfriend_?!” he all but squeaked, and she frowned.

“What? You thought I didn’t know-“

“I’m not his boyfriend,” Javier said quickly, holding up a hand. “Yuzuru and I- we’re- that’s not-“ He shook his head. “I didn’t even know he was gay until very recently, even!”

Saya stared at him in shock and confusion for a moment before humming. “Well…” She made a face. “You say so many sappy things about just a _friend_? Wow,” she said, shaking her head. “Europeans are very strange.” She snorted and threw her head back. “You do know our parents invited you because they wanted to meet his boyfriend, right?” she said, and Javier’s jaw went slack. “The whole point of this was for me and our dad to get to know Yuzuru’s boyfriend.”

“Yumi thinks we’re dating?” Javier asked in shock, lowering his voice in case someone heard. She nodded and he made a face. “Yuzuru doesn’t seem to know his mother thinks we’re dating,” he pointed out. “He would have told me if his mother thought I was his boyfriend, so I think he doesn’t know either.”

Saya let out a sharp laugh. “Well she does.” She scrunched her nose. “You really are not his boyfriend? Wow. That makes no sense,” she said, and he rolled his eyes.

Javier flushed suddenly. “Oh no.” He looked at Saya in horror. “So Yumi thinks that when Yuzuru spends the night with me…” He trailed off and Saya let out a quick laugh so hard she slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle it. “Oh God, she has been looking me in the eyes and thinking I spent the night before with her child in my bed.”

Saya smirked. “Why do you think you’re staying in Yuzuru’s room? We have guest room,” she said and he gaped. “She just thought Yuzuru would want you to stay with him instead since you will be leaving in a few days and Yuzuru won’t see you for weeks.”

Javier groaned. “Oh God.”

~

Javier had no idea how to act after discovering that everybody thought he and Yuzuru were dating, so he knew he was acting strange while they hung out with Yuzuru’s parents and sister until it got late enough to go to bed. 

It was even more awkward when Yuzuru’s mother bid him goodnight outside Yuzuru’s bedroom after he washed up for bed. When he got to Yuzuru’s room, Yuzuru was finishing up laying out a futon for him. “I could have done that, you know,” Javier said and Yuzuru stood up with a bright smile.

“It’s okay. You are my guest,” he said, spreading his arms with the spirit of ‘ta-da’ in there.

Javier grimaced. “So, did you know and just not want to tell me, or did you also not know that your parents do not think I’m sleeping on the futon?” he asked as he walked over to where he had propped his suitcase open to dig out a comb since he forgot to take one with him for after he showered.

Yuzuru sat on his bed and frowned. “What? I don’t understand.” Javier scoffed as he turned around. “What?” Yuzuru asked, then held out his hand. “Come here, I do it,” he said, and Javier raised an eyebrow but walked over all the same. He sat on the floor where Yuzuru indicated and let Yuzuru take the comb. “Now,” he said as he slid so that Javier was between his knees as he started combing his hair. “What you mean by that?”

Javier groaned and tipped his head back to look up at Yuzuru, who made a face at Javier putting his damp hair on his shirt. “Your sister casually said something about how lucky you were to have a boyfriend like me, and when I said I was not your boyfriend, she informed me that your parents invited me to stay because your father and sister wanted to get to know your boyfriend.”

Yuzuru’s jaw _dropped_ and squeaked. “What?!” Javier nodded. “My mom thinks- but I-“ He turned bright red suddenly, the comb falling from his hand to the floor. “But- but I spend the night at your house…” he said in stark horror.

“Yeah, which is why your parents do not think I’m sleeping on the futon,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows, less mortified now that Yuzuru was the one having the extreme reaction. 

“Oh nooooo,” Yuzuru groaned, putting his hands over his face. “All those times I sleep at your house my mother think I doing dirty things to you,” he whined. “And now my whole family think I do dirty things to you _here_!” he said dramatically, his voice muffled by his hands.

Javier smirked. “Why do you think I was so uncomfortable all night? And when I came back from showering, your mother was outside in the hall! She thinks I’m going to bed _with_ you,” he said, and Yuzuru whined and flopped back onto the bed.

“This not happening,” he groaned, pulling his legs up until he was curled in a ball on his bed. “No, no, no, my family not think I am doing bad things with you tonight in same house.”

Javier smiled and turned to settle on his knees and face Yuzuru. “Hey, at least your sister doesn’t? I told her the truth,” he said, and Yuzuru grumbled.

“That still mean my parents think I do bad things with you,” he said, sounding a bit accusatory this time.

Javier rolled his eyes and crawled up onto the bed, even though there was nowhere near enough space for both of him, and he flopped half on top of Yuzuru, purposefully trying to squish him. “Yuzuuuuuuu,” he whined, trying his best to annoy him out of his mortified ball of shame. Yuzuru didn’t respond though, he just continued to hide his face. “Stop this. It was funny but now you are worrying me,” he admitted, tugging Yuzuru’s hands away from his face. He gently stroked a hand over his hair. “Yell at me for squashing you,” he said and Yuzuru gave a halfhearted shove that didn’t even move him. 

“Not in the mood for playing, Javi,” he said dejectedly, and Javier sighed, relaxing with his chin on Yuzuru’s upper arm as he looked at his red face. “So embarrassed,” he said quietly. “My _parents_ think I do bad things while they at home. With _you_.”

“Okay, first off,” Javier said, tugging away the hand that started to creep to Yuzuru’s face again. “It is not ‘bad’ things. They think we are boyfriends and probably that we have been for a long time, and two adults in a relationship having sex is not a ‘bad’ thing. Dirty, yes, but not bad,” he said plainly. “And second, think about this.” He smiled at Yuzuru, who pouted back. “Your family thinks you are dating a man and their reaction was to invite him to visit and stay in your bedroom with you and they are all very nice to me.” He poked his cheek. “You said you think they don’t like it, but that says they approve of you liking men, Yuzu. Maybe it is like you said, they worry about you, but they didn’t even make me sleep in the guest room. They purposefully let me stay in your room with you. That’s support,” he stressed. “My parents didn’t even let me sleep in the same room with Cortney when we were dating and she came for Christmas.”

Yuzuru cracked a smile. “That is because you are not embarrassed like me. You would have sex with your parents also in the house,” he said and Javier smirked.

“Absolutely,” he said, and Yuzuru _finally_ laughed. “There we go,” he said, resting his chin on Yuzuru’s arm again. “There’s your beautiful smile.”

Yuzuru blushed again but this time it wasn’t one of shame. “Javi,” he complained, rolling his eyes. 

“What? It’s only true,” Javier said, poking his cheek again. Yuzuru grabbed his hand and tugged it to hold it tight, resting it under his cheek. Javier shifted enough that he wasn’t entirely squashing Yuzuru’s tiny body anymore and instead lay with their legs tangled together and his head on the pillow beside Yuzuru. The only way they both fit was laying pressed together, but neither of them minded.

Yuzuru sighed and licked his lips. “I just… embarrassed,” he said, resting his free hand on Javier’s shirt to pick the fuzz around the three buttons near his neck. “I have no idea my mother think this or that she tell my family.”

Javier hesitated but asked the question he had wanted to know the answer to ever since Yuzuru had such a bad reaction to the news. “Are you that uncomfortable with the thought that people think you are dating _me_?” he asked, and Yuzuru’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What? Javi, no,” he said, shaking his head. He slid his hand to rest on Javier’s chest, just over his heart. “I never know anybody who is as good as you,” he said, pressing against Javier’s chest pointedly. “This part of you is best I ever known. You have such a good heart, Javi.” He looked upset at the idea that Javier misinterpreted his reaction. “How could I ever be embarrassed because it is you. I am luckiest person alive just to know you. I am only embarrassed because my parents think I’m _having sex_ when I am not.”

Javier smirked. “So if we were actually having sex all the times you spend the night with me, it wouldn’t be so bad?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Yuzuru tutted and smacked his chest. “You are lucky you have good heart, because you have dirty brain,” he declared and Javier grinned and curled his arm around Yuzuru’s waist to squish him into a hug. “No, get off me you dirty brain man!” he said with a giggle, but didn’t really struggle too hard as Javier cuddled him closer.

After a while of struggling around and laughing and snickering like naughty children, they finally started to grow heavy from their tired bodies after so long doing the show. Eventually they settled with Javier on his back and Yuzuru mostly sprawled on his chest, with only his shoulder and one hip on the bed while he wrapped his arms and one leg around Javier, his head resting on the pillow beside Javier so they were face to face with sleepy smiles. 

“Turn off light,” Yuzuru mumbled sleepily and Javier could see how glassy his eyes were. He looked so soft and sweet that Javier was afraid to move to reach the light in case he shattered the perfect position Yuzuru was in. However, he did have to hit the light so they could sleep, so he reached out with one hand to turn off the lamp, carefully watching Yuzuru so he didn’t unseat his comfortable position. 

Javier did not sleep on the futon that night after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason you will be mad, not just because they still are being slow, but also because I finish this story and it is over 25.000 words and I put the SLOW in SLOW BURN.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one will also drive you crazy but good to see some people are loving the slow burn!

When Javier woke up the first thing he saw made his heart skip a beat: Yuzuru’s sleeping face inches away from his.

_You are so beautiful_ , Javier thought, and he couldn’t help but raise his hand from where it rested on Yuzuru’s hip to carefully brush his bangs from Yuzuru’s face. He was starting to wonder if maybe he had been blind, because it seemed that everyone else saw something he did not recognize in himself. Yuzuru seemed just as unknowing as he was, but Yuzuru was not like other people, so perhaps that was why.

Javier lay there patiently until Yuzuru woke up, and his sleepy eyes as he blinked up at Javier were, by far, the most beautiful sight Javier had ever seen, and suddenly everything fell into place. All those pieces that had been floating around connected, and Javier knew in his gut exactly what he was feeling.

It was a scary thing to discover that your own heart did not belong to you.

~

Saya and Yuzuru took Javier sight-seeing, and Javier was amazed at how much fun Yuzuru’s sister was. She was just as witty as Yuzuru but even more ruthless. She had no qualms teasing them both about _everything_. Javier thought she reminded him a _lot_ of his own sister, and he secretly found himself wondering how much the two of them in the same place at the same time could ruin his life. 

“You are a figure skater, keep up!” she said as he lagged behind on their way up a large flight of stairs.

Yuzuru giggled and waved. “Come on, Javi! You are getting old already?” he teased and Javier rolled his eyes and sped up to catch them. 

When they got to the top, they walked until they came to a spot where they had an _incredible_ view of the city. “Whoa,” he said, surprised by it. He had known the hill they were climbing was steep, but not that steep. Saya walked a bit away to take photos of the view and Javier felt Yuzuru step into his side some, knocking their shoulders together. 

“It’s cool, huh?” he asked, and Javier chuckled, leaning into Yuzuru.

“It’s definitely cool,” he said, looking out over the view. He felt like he could have spent hours up there, it was so amazing. The view was just unreal. Out of the corner of his eye, he could tell Yuzuru was watching him take in the view, so he smiled and reached out to slide his hand into Yuzuru’s. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Yuzuru blushed and looked down at their hands. “It is nothing.”

Javier squeezed his hand, turning to look at him. “It’s Yuzu being Yuzu,” he said in a teasing tone. “The sweetest guy I have ever known.”

“If Yuzuru is the sweetest guy you have ever known, you need to meet better guys,” Saya interrupted. “Come on, let’s go to the castle!” she said brightly turning to lead the way. 

Yuzuru didn’t drop his hand, and Javier found he didn’t care at all about any looks they might get walking around holding hands, because it felt nice and that was all that mattered.

~

“Javi! Javi come look!” Javier looked up from the book Saya was showing him and she rolled her eyes as he looked around for where Yuzuru had wandered off to.

“Don’t you ever get tired of that?” she asked playfully. “How has he lived in Canada for so long and still can’t pronounce your name right?”

Javier smiled fondly and shrugged. He liked Yuzuru’s little ‘Habi’. “It’s kind of cute. I used to tease him about it at first, but I’m just used to it now,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder to pass behind her so he could go over to where Yuzuru was holding something. “Yes, Yuzu?” he asked, and Yuzuru turned the book around with a smirk. Yuzuru was on the cover, and Javier let out a bark of laughter. “Oh man, does that feel so weird?” he asked, looking at Yuzuru. “Seeing your face on the cover of books in a book store?”

Yuzuru grinned. “It’s a little weird, but I am used to it now,” he said, then opened it up. “My hair was so bad,” he said, making a cute little scrunchy nose as he flipped through it. Javier stepped behind him to lean over his shoulder and look, and yeah, there were a lot of photos from Yuzuru’s unfortunate haircut days. He sighed, leaning back against Javier’s chest some. “My hair always look bad,” he bemoaned. “It messy or look like mushroom. There is never anything different.”

“You look good with your messy hair,” Javier comforted, glancing at the mess of it that the wind and Yuzuru touching his hair had caused. “It’s stylishly messy,” he said and Yuzuru rolled his eyes.

“You have good hair. Very lucky,” he said, flipping another page. “Oh no, that costume was awful!” Yuzuru groaned.

Javier snickered. “You just don’t like it because there aren’t enough ruffles and rhinestones,” he said and Yuzuru turned to look at him with a warning look. It was an old teasing topic for Javier. Yuzuru and his obsession with ruffles and sparkles was hilarious and sometimes concerning. Javier often feared skating after him in case he shed rhinestones that would make him crash on the ice. 

“You are just boring,” Yuzuru said, rolling his eyes. “Boring Javi and his boring costumes. Know what is not sexy? Plain pants and shirt. You are boring like Patrick Chan,” he proclaimed and Javier snickered, knowing how offended Yuzuru was by that guy’s sweater vest fetish. 

“Yuzu, let’s be honest,” Javier said, meeting his eyes. “How ridiculous would I look in a costume like yours with all the ruffles and feathers and sparkles? Can you picture me with necklines and backs that are made to look like bare skin? I would look silly.”

Yuzuru looked at him for a moment and hummed, and then giggled adorably. “Okay, Javi would look like silly,” he agreed, shaking his head as he pulled away and closed the book, putting it back on the shelf. “But still, you could have something sexy and not boring,” he said, sliding his hand into Javier’s to tug him further along the aisle. “You have sexy arms. Could wear shirt that showed off your arms,” he said and Javier smirked at him.

“Oh? I have sexy arms, huh?” he teased and Yuzuru blushed but shoved him playfully.

“Your muscles are big as my _legs_ , you know you have sexy arms,” he chastised and Javier just smirked smugly. Yuzuru narrowed his eyes and reached up to poke his cheek.” Now you doing that thing you said Shoma did. Leering.”

Javier laughed in surprise. “Yes, I guess I am,” he admitted, slinging his arm around Yuzuru’s waist with a sigh. “You know I’m teasing, though. I thought he was being a little creep.”

Yuzuru made a face. “He was being sort of creepy,” he admitted. “He just did not realize it. Poor Shoma, he not so good with people,” he said and Javier smiled at his antics.

“It’s okay. I told him I forgive him and apologized for being mean. Now I just think he is a dork,” he said and Yuzuru grinned.

“Shoma is definitely a dork,” he agreed.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Saya said behind them and they stopped and looked to see her catching up with them. She rolled her eyes. “I am just a third wheel, witness to the love birds on a date,” she said and Yuzuru groaned, laying his head on Javier’s shoulder.

It really was embarrassing, Javier had to admit. Yuzuru still didn’t know how to tell his parents Javier wasn’t his boyfriend, so Saya was the only one that knew they weren’t dating. It was super awkward, especially when Yuzuru’s mother came to the door of Yuzuru’s room while Yuzuru was in the shower and Javier was lazing on Yuzuru’s bed and it was obvious the futon hadn’t been slept on on the floor.

“This is so embarrassing,” Yuzuru whined. “She thinks we have sex!” he stressed to Saya. “She knows Javi slept in my bed and thinks we did it _there_!”

Saya snorted. “You were the one who let your friend sleep in your bed with you! Normal people do not have a perfectly good space for their friend to sleep and instead sleep together in a bed made for one person.”

Javier gave a charming smile and turned Yuzuru’s face towards Saya. “Do you see this? This adorable little pout? How can you not hug someone doing that face! He needed hugs, I couldn’t leave him there without them!” 

Yuzuru blushed and swatted at his hand. “Javi, you don’t help things,” he said and Javier winked at him.

“At least she thinks you managed to get a handsome boyfriend with ‘sexy arms’,” he teased and Yuzuru pouted at him instead. “Oh no, don’t do that,” Javier said, and Yuzuru’s eyes widened into full on puppy eyes.

“Javi is mean to me,” he said, sniffling comically so that Saya laughed.

Javier just groaned and pulled him into a hug right there. “I am not mean to you, you are just dramatic,” he said, rubbing a hand through his messy hair. “See?” he said to Saya. “I am weak to your brother’s sad little face.”

She scoffed. “My brother’s weird face, you mean,” he said and Yuzuru turned away from Javier’s hug quickly.

“Hey! That is rude!”

“True!”

“Rude!”

“True!”

Javier groaned and grabbed Yuzuru’s hand, tugging him into walking even as he and his sister started bickering in their native language, trailing along behind him as he led the way.

~

Javier spent four days getting to know Yuzuru’s family and he found that he really liked not just his father and sister, but he liked seeing the way that Yuzuru and his mother were different when the family was together. Javier had always wondered how they managed to deal with their family being split in half for so much of the year, but it was easy to see that Yuzuru’s family was very supportive of him and his dreams. They were all willing to make sacrifices for his success and he had always known Yuzuru was so grateful towards them, but seeing it was something entirely different. It was like he was learning another side of Yuzuru he didn’t know before.

The last night before he was set to leave was kind of hard. When he and Yuzuru got ready for bed, Yuzuru was pretty quiet, and Javier knew that neither of them were looking forward to not seeing each other for several weeks. They were already in their respective beds with the lights out and only the dim light of the nighttime coming through Yuzuru’s window when Yuzuru called his name. “Javi?” His voice was quiet and small and Javier turned to look over at Yuzuru’s bed. 

He could just make out the glint of light from Yuzuru’s eyes as he lay on the edge of the bed, looking down at Javier. “Yes, Yuzu?” He spoke equally softly because something about the darkness made it feel so private and fragile, like the moment would be shattered by too loud a tone. Yuzuru didn’t reply for a moment and Javier could see his eyes still, so he knew he hadn’t fallen asleep. “Yuzuru, what is it?”

“Do you think-“ Yuzuru stopped and made a soft noise in his throat. “Everybody thinks that we are more than friends.” Javier stilled, wondering where this was going. “Are you ever thinking that maybe there is reason for that?”

Javier let out a slow breath, rolling onto his back to think. After a moment of reflection he spoke. “I think we got close to talking about that the day that we had that argument about me being rude to Shoma. When we were in my hotel room and you talked about how I understand you.” He licked his lips. “You understand me, too. When we started training together, you could barely understand what I said, but I felt like you got it, even when I was just looking at you and wishing you knew what I was thinking or saying. We are just very close and I’m not sure there’s any way to label it so people just find one that fits closer.”

Yuzuru was quiet for a while and then he spoke again. “Shoma teased you because he wanted to make us talk about our feelings,” he confessed and Javier turned his head to look across at him in surprise. Yuzuru’s face was barely visible in the dimness but he could see how uncomfortable he looked. “He told me. When I asked him why he did all of that after I talked to you. He say he was tired of me not dealing with my feelings." 

Javier's stomach tightened because the way Yuzuru said that. It seemed like a confession. "Your feelings?" He asked in barely more than a whisper.

"I don't-" Yuzuru hesitated, making a slightly distressed sound. "It is not what I think about before. I never think about you being a boyfriend. Before, I think you are someone I want to be around. You are always the one who knows what is wrong when I am frustrated, and you make me feel better. I like how you are with me." Yuzuru sighed. "And maybe I like how you hug me and touch me and hold my hands. I was not sure how to take it when you start. But you were nice and I didn't want to make you sad, and then I start liking it. And I hug more people because I like it, but I mostly like you hugging me. You are most important to me."

Javier still didn't know how to decipher what that might mean now, so he just asked. "You said this is how you felt. What do you feel now?"

There was a silence so long Javier worried he didn't understand Javier's whispered voice, but finally he answered. "I feel that you are Javi."

It was such a simple statement, but somehow it said everything Javier needed to know about what Yuzuru felt, and that itself was enough to make him realize that there was so much more between them than what he thought just weeks ago.

They went to sleep without another word after that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are 10 chapters total so we're getting closer to the end!!!

When Javier woke up, there was an extra body beside him and he immediately knew what had happened. He glanced at Yuzuru’s head on his chest and he smiled. He looked at his phone, which was on the floor near his head, and saw that it was still half an hour before he was supposed to get up. He looked at Yuzuru’s head and curled his arms around him. “You’re awake, aren’t you?”

After a moment, unsure he was really awake, Yuzuru nodded slowly. He shifted his head and looked up at Javier. “I am sorry I wake you,” he said, and Javier smiled at his puppy eyes. 

“What are you doing, Yuzuru?” he asked and Yuzuru ducked his head back to layover Javier’s heart.

“Listening.” He tapped on Javier’s stomach to the rhythm of his heart. “You leave today and I will not see you for many weeks. No more of this.” He tapped again. “Doki, doki, doki,” he whispered.

Javier’s stomach tightened. He wasn’t sure what had changed. They had been apart for a while all the time for years. This time, though, it felt like the worse than usual. He always missed Yuzuru, but it was usually just a passing wish he as there, not this feeling like leaving him would be leaving a part of himself behind. “Yuzuru, has something changed?” he asked softly. “I feel like this time it’s different.”

It was a testament to their connection that he didn’t have to say what was different for Yuzuru to just understand. “It does not feel the same,” he agreed.

Javier shifted and rolled to the side so he was facing Yuzuru. Yuzuru shuffled until his head was on the pillow beside him, and Javier smiled as Yuzuru’s hands rested between their chests. Javier put his hand on Yuzuru’s side and Yuzuru smiled sadly. Javier looked over his face, taking in those details he would miss in the coming weeks. He raised his hand and touched Yuzuru’s face, tracing those features so lightly, almost afraid he would ruin the moment if he touched him anything but gently. Yuzuru closed his eyes as Javier’s fingers traced along one of his eyebrows, brushing his hair back from his forehead. He trailed his fingertip down Yuzuru’s nose and then let it brush the bow of Yuzuru’s top lip before tracing the curve of his bottom lip as well. Yuzuru’s breath caught audibly and Javier could feel how tense he was. He knew if he put his hand on Yuzuru’s chest, his heart would be beating hard.

“Javi,” Yuzuru whispered, making his lip catch on Javier’s fingertip as his eyes fluttered open. Javier could see the conflict between should and shouldn’t within them, and if he was honest, a bit of fear. Javier knew he was being unfair. Yuzuru was probably even more confused that he was, and all because Javier wasn’t sure what was going on in his own mind and in his own heart. Javier wanted something and also didn’t want it, and he didn’t even know what that something was.

Instead, Javier moved his hand to his favorite spot, cupping Yuzuru’s slender neck, and he drew his forehead down so that Javier could press his lips there as he closed his eyes and just breathed in the scent of Yuzuru’s hair. “Perdóname,” he whispered as he slid his hand up into Yuzuru’s hair and slid his other hand beneath Yuzuru, pulling him close to hold him against his chest.

After a moment Yuzuru relaxed in his arms and loosely held onto Javier’s shirt. “Spanish is not fair,” he mumbled in complaint as he tucked his head into Javier’s neck.

Javier chuckled softly at how ‘Yuzuru’ that was. He kissed his forehead again. “Let’s just lay here for a while longer.”

Yuzuru nodded slightly. “I would like that.” He slid one hand up to rest over Javier’s heart and Javier closed his eyes, enjoying these last few minutes of quiet and peace with Yuzuru before he had to get up and get ready to leave for the airport.

~

Yuzuru couldn’t go with him to the airport, so the last time he saw him, Yuzuru’s mother was standing with them by the front door. Javier couldn’t say the things he wanted to say there and he was almost grateful for an excuse to keep ignoring what happened that morning. Yuzuru gave a sad smile and stepped into Javier’s arms, hugging him tight. “Text me when you are home, Javi,” he said and Javier curled a hand around the back of his head, brushing his lips against Yuzuru’s temple before he pulled out of the hug.

“Just don’t forget to reply to me this time,” Javier teased, clapping Yuzuru on the shoulder as he stepped back to say goodbye.

On the ride to the airport, Yumi kept glancing over at him and Javier thought it was a little uncomfortable to be alone with Yuzuru’s mother now that he knew that she thought he was dating her son. They never could figure out how to tell Yuzuru’s parents they weren’t dating when they clearly had believed so for a long time, now. It was too uncomfortable to address so it was easier to just let them keep believing falsehood.

He kept glancing down at his phone and she finally sighed and caught his attention. “You have barely left. He will talk to you later,” she said and he blushed and smiled bashfully. “Don’t worry,” she continued. “It will not be long before we are going back to Canada. You will see him again in a few weeks.”

Javier laughed at the absurdity of the situation he was in. This woman thought he was a forlorn boyfriend already missing his lover, who happened to be her youngest child. “I know,” he replied. “It’s just that we spent so much more time together this summer than before so it’s weird.”

She chuckled. “Eh, you are young. You are forgetting, I spend all this time traveling for Yuzuru and am away from my daughter and husband. I don’t get all dramatic like you are,” she teased and he ducked his head.

“I’m sorry of I seem insensitive,” he said seriously, feeling a bit guilty now.

“Oh no, no,” she said quickly. “I don’t mean that. I just mean that you are young and it will not always seem so terrible going a few weeks without the person you love.” She shook her head. “You are allowed your drama now, but it will be easier one day.”

_Love_.

The word struck Javier like he had ran into a wall head on, because _shit_. That was the feeling. That was what made his heart go, as Yuzu liked to say, ‘doki doki’ when Yuzuru was in his arms. Javier felt monumentally stupid to have missed what was staring him straight in the face. How had he never realized before?

“Yumi,” he said suddenly, too curious for his own good. “How long- I mean… when did you… know,” he said lamely. “When did you find out about Yuzuru and- and me?” He ducked his head. “We didn’t realize-“

“Oh I could tell you did not realize I knew,” she said mischievously and Javier was reminded of Yuzuru instantly. “He still even just a few months ago say things about ‘going to play video games’ whenever he go to stay with you.” She snickered. “He thinks he’s so clever,” she added, rolling her eyes. Javier blushed a bit at the realization she thought ‘playing video games’ translated to ‘have sex with Javier’. 

“But how long ago did you know?” he asked.

She hummed. “I would say about three years I suspected he likes you, but two years I realized what I had missed,” she said, and Javier’s jaw dropped.

“ _Three years_?!” He spluttered some. “We- that’s- he was _nineteen_ -“

Yumi laughed at his reaction. “Oh, so not the whole three years, then?” she said with a smirk. “Okay, okay, but what made me know was when you win Worlds and he cry,” she explained. Javier thought back to that day and how adorable Yuzuru had been, both so heartbroken at his own loss that he was crying but beaming with pride and genuine happiness for Javier’s win. Yuzuru had been so embarrassed that he was crying when he really was happy for Javier because he thought Javier would think he was lying about being proud of him. 

“Oh,” he said softly, still thinking about that moment.

She nodded. “You wipe away his tears and held his face and I realized it was not just Yuzuru liking you. You both had already gone beyond Yuzuru liking you. Then I knew,” she said with a sage smile. “And I was scared for him, because it is one thing to like handsome young man who is also a skater, but it is another to date someone who shares a coach.” She shook her head, glancing over at him. “But now, two years and I realize you are both better together. You make him come out of his shell, and he makes you focus. I am still scared for him,” she added. “People can be so horrible.” She shrugged. “But he is happy. How can I not be glad my son is happy? You are a good boy,” she said confidently. “I like you and I am happy the rest of family like you, too.”

Javier felt a wave of guilt and couldn’t help but confess. “We aren’t dating,” he said suddenly. Yumi made a confused sound and he pushed on. “I’m not his boyfriend. Saya knows, because we didn’t know you thought we were boyfriends until she said she and your husband were excited to meet Yuzuru’s boyfriend. I was so shocked I told Saya that I’m not dating him and then I told him you all think we’re boyfriends but we aren’t.” He ducked his head. “I didn’t even know for sure Yuzuru was gay until that same night. I suspected he liked men, but I didn’t know.” He shook his head. “We were too embarrassed to tell you the truth but I just- I can’t lie,” he finished softly.

Yumi was quiet for a moment before finally speaking. “Why are you not dating when it is clear you love each other?” 

Javier swallowed hard, looking out the window. “Because I have always had girlfriends, and more than that, Yuzuru doesn’t understand what he feels,” he said, suddenly confident he was right. “I didn’t understand until now.”

Yumi tutted. “Oh you boys. So young,” she said, shaking her head with a sigh. “You have a very odd friendship with my son if you are not boyfriends,” she said and he laughed breathlessly at how true that was.

“I’m starting to figure that out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff, yes? <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some funny things this time!

Other than texting him to let him know he was home, Javier and Yuzuru didn’t really communicate much again until finally the day came that Yuzuru returned to Canada to start training. 

Javier had entirely forgotten the date, so when he came in for a meeting with David about choreography for the upcoming season, he didn’t pay much attention to the person out on the ice until he heard the unmistakable sound of blades slipping and then the sound of incredibly familiar honking laughter echoing in the large space. Javier turned quickly and looked towards Yuzuru, who was laying on the ice laughing while Tracy stood over him with her arms crossed. Javier wanted so badly to go and call out to Yuzuru and greet him with a hug like he had wanted to for weeks now, but it was the start of a new season, a very important one for each of them, and he knew it was unfair to interrupt Yuzuru’s practice and unfair to David to keep him waiting.

Yuzuru being back was distracting though. He and David sat and talked about music and themes and all he could do was hum and nod and think about how Yuzuru was on the ice and Javier hadn’t seen his face since Yuzuru’s mother made him realize his feelings.

David must have realized how distracted he was, even if he probably didn’t know why, so he patted his shoulder. “Look, how about you take some time to think and listen to the songs I suggested.” He gave him a smile. “You need to start making your choices soon, but you can take a few days.”

Javier nodded, smiling gratefully. “Thank you. I’ll get right on that.”

“You have some ice time in a little while, don’t you? Tracy said she had both you and Yuzuru today,” he said and Javier’s heart skipped a beat at Yuzuru’s name. “You should get something to eat before she digs her claws into you.” He smirked. “She’s going to work you to the bone to get you back in shape after weeks of lazing around.”

Javier snorted. “I deserved those weeks of lazing around,” he said as he stood up and stretched. “Thanks you again,” he said in parting.

When he got back to the rink, he saw that Yuzuru was sitting and drinking water while Tracy worked on something on the ice so he didn’t feel too guilty ducking through the doors. Yuzuru looked up at the sound and Javier’s heart _stopped_ when he saw the smile that spread on Yuzuru’s face when he saw him. “Javi!” he said cheerfully, and Javier had never enjoyed that cute little ‘habi’ as much as he did that moment.

“Hey Yuzuru,” he said, walking a little quickly towards Yuzuru as he stood up and met him with his arms open, crashing into Javier’s chest. Javier curled his arms around Yuzuru’s waist as Yuzuru’s long arms tightly wound around his shoulders. 

“I have missed you,” Yuzuru said against his neck and Javier’s gut twisted at those words, and he found himself in the odd position of having a lump in his throat. He turned and buried his face in Yuzuru’s neck and rubbed is back in circles.

“I’ve missed you, too,” he said, relaxing into the hug. He didn’t want to let go anytime soon and, to his surprise, it didn’t seem Yuzuru wanted to let go either. They stood there, holding each other close and just enjoying the feeling of comfort that washed over them, until the door opened and a familiar voice rang out behind them.

“Well here’s a surprise. Go looking for Javier and find him wherever Yuzu is,” Brian said, and they pulled apart and laughed at him. “Hey guys,” he greeted, and Yuzuru smiled and waved excitedly.

Tracy skated over and stopped with a huff. “Thank God you’re finally here. You can explain to Yuzuru why he _cannot_ start jump training yet,” she said, giving Yuzuru a stern look. “He hasn’t been on the ice in two weeks, not even for fun and the first thing he asked was when he can start jump training.”

Yuzuru gave her a pout with wide eyes like a puppy. “But that is why I need,” he said, and Javier snickered from where he stood with his arm around Yuzuru’s waist. 

“If you break your leg you won’t think that,” Javier said, squeezing his tiny waist playfully. 

Yuzuru elbowed him and made a dramatic sound. “You are lazy, why should I listen to you?” he asked and Javier laughed in surprise.

“Oh, lazy am I?” he asked, grabbing his waist with both hands to tickle him. “Who is lazy?” he asked and Yuzuru started laughing as he tried to squirm away. “Who?”

“You!” he said defiantly even as he gave a peal of giggles and tried to catch his hands. 

“Lazy, huh?”

“Javi, stop!” he squeaked, carefully avoiding kicking him with his skates on. “Javiiii!” 

Javier slowed off, only because he remembered what happened last time he tickled Yuzuru for too long. “I’m only stopping because last time I made your asthma act up,” he informed him and Yuzuru rolled his eyes.

“Javi, I just coughed too much-“

“You almost had an asthma attack, Querido,” he countered. 

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Brian and Tracy exchange a glance and he had to fight a blush after realizing what he had called Yuzuru. “Wait, what is this about an asthma attack?” Brian asked. “Mrs. Hanyu didn’t tell me your asthma gave you problems over the summer,” he said and Yuzuru shook his head.

“It was not an asthma attack, and I did not even think to tell her,” he explained. “During the ice show, Javi was tickling me and I started coughing and it made my lungs kind of tired, but it was fine! I still skated the next day and had no trouble,” he said, shaking his head. “I am healthy.”

Tracy sighed heavily and Brian looked skyward for a moment as if begging for strength before looking back to them. “Javier, is he lying?” Brian asked him and Javier shook his head.

“No, he is being truthful now,” he said, nudging him with his elbow. “He just faked like it was worse than it was because he wanted me to carry him when we went sight-seeing.” He winked at Yuzuru. “Remind me who is lazy?”

Brian nodded. “Okay, Yuzuru, to be safe, I’m going to speak to your mother about making sure you keep daily track using the peak flow meter,” he said and Yuzuru looked so badly like he wanted to roll his eyes but didn’t want to be so disrespectful. Javier knew that look very well. “We don’t need to miss the symptoms and have you collapse in training,” he said, and Yuzuru nodded obediently.

Brian asked Javier to come with him and he bid goodbye to Yuzuru and Tracy, though not without remembering to ask Yuzuru later what on earth kept him off the ice for so long when that guy rarely went two days without at least skating around for fun.

~

Javier was grateful to have Yuzuru back, but knowing what he had for so long now about exactly what he felt for him, it didn’t make things easy. Javier was scared to talk about it, but he felt like Yuzuru had to know. There were moments where Yuzuru caught him looking at his face and he just smiled. He met Javier’s eyes and just smiled. Nothing more, nothing less. Just that little Yuzu smile that he did when he was secretly pleased with something.

One night, Yuzuru was at his place, laying on the couch with Effie on his lap and his video game in his hands, and when Javier came back from the kitchen with tea for each of them, it hit him that this felt more like a relationship than any he had had before did. Yuzuru looked at him after he didn’t sit for a while and tilted his head. “Javi? Why you just standing there?” he asked slowly.

Javier shook his head and sat down, letting Yuzuru put his feet in his lap. He handed him his tea and reached out to pet Effie, smiling when he felt how she was purring from her spot stretched across Yuzuru’s thighs. “You’re spoiling my cat,” Javier said and Yuzuru smiled as he took a sip of his tea. “You know it, too,” he accused.

“She already spoiled. You do it,” he countered. Javier watched the fond smile on Yuzuru’s face grow as he put his game down to drink his tea and pet Effie. “She is sweet,” he said, rubbing her neck. He grinned impishly and glanced up at Javier. “I like her more than you,” he announced and Javier feigned clutching his chest in shock.

“Replaced by my own cat?!” Yuzuru nodded, barely keeping in a grin, and Javier pouted. “But Yuzu, how will I ever go on, knowing I am not your favorite?”

Yuzuru giggled. “I joke, I joke.” He tapped his toes against Javier’s stomach. “Javi is my favorite always.” 

Javier smiled and caught his foot, stroking at the arch of it with his thumb as he looked at Yuzuru’s small, contented smile. “You’re my favorite, too.”

~

Later that night, after Effie had ran off somewhere, Yuzuru came back from putting away their dirty dishes and he draped himself across Javier’s lap, laying his head on Javier’s shoulder as he pulled out his game again. Javier just moved the remote and curled his arm around Yuzuru’s middle so he didn’t fall off his lap and went back to watching the football match on TV.

“I sleep here,” Yuzuru announced and Javier had figured he would, since Yuzuru didn’t seem ready to go catch the late bus home. 

Javier snickered. “What will your mother think,” he joked and Yuzuru leaned back against the arm of the couch so he could look at Javier’s face.

“She tell me you tell her the truth,” he said and Javier was surprised, since this was the first he had heard of that. “She says you say the truth even before you left Japan. I wish you had told me, because I kept lying for a long time. I think she just wanted to see how long I would lie,” he complained. 

Javier hummed, still watching the match. “Well how much of it is lying, really?” he said, distracted. “Besides not having sex, most of it is true.” Javier didn’t realize what he said until Yuzuru failed to respond for so long and sat stiff in his arms. When he finally looked down, Yuzuru was staring at him searchingly. “Yuzu?”

“Do you want to fuck me?” Yuzuru asked simply, and Javier promptly choked on air.

“What?! Yuzuru, what the- I- _what_?!” He spluttered, coughing as he tried to breathe but couldn’t.

Yuzuru sat up straight – still on his lap – and patted his back. “Don’t die. I cannot tell Brian I kill you,” he said and Javier laughed nervously, which slowed his choking on air.

“Yuzuru,” he rasped, looking at him. “What the hell was that?”

Yuzuru shrugged. “I just ask. Do you?” he asked, still clearly just waiting for an answer.

“Do I…” Javier trailed off, not wanting to repeat what he said, he was still so shocked.

Yuzuru nodded. “Do you want to fuck me?” He frowned. “Or want that I fuck you, either one.”

Javier cringed. “I really wish you shouldn’t say that. It sounds so vulgar and wrong.”

“Javi,” Yuzuru prompted and Javier groaned, running a hand over his face.

“No. I don’t- no,” he said somewhat confidently. “I don’t- I’ve never really thought about you that way.”

Yuzuru frowned and nodded, as if he were trying to figure something out. “It is just how you said it. You say other than sex, and I think maybe you want that we have sex.”

“That is not what I meant when I said that,” Javier said truthfully. In reality, Javier didn’t know what he wanted. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was in love with Yuzuru. He had known that for far longer than he understood it, but Yuzuru’s mother made it something he could finally understand. However, he had not lied when he said he had never really thought about Yuzuru in that way. 

Javier wouldn’t say he had never glanced at another man before in that way. He was young once and trying to figure things out. However, he had only ever been with women, and he had been fine with that. He couldn’t say he had never looked at Yuzuru and wanted to kiss him and hold him, because he definitely had. The thing about Yuzuru was that Javier had never fallen in love without first falling in lust. Any girl he had ever dated, even ones he spent years with, he had first met her and thought he’d like to sleep with her. 

With Yuzuru, he had been practically a child when they met. There was no part of Javier that had wanted the tiny little teenage boy that first came to train with him. He had admiration for him, and he wanted to befriend him, but Yuzuru was a boy in his eyes, then. They became friends because they had that strange bond that surpassed the language barrier, and they both made each other better in different ways, so their bond continued to grow.

Javier had no idea when the feelings he had for Yuzuru became more than friendship. He couldn’t pinpoint anything that shifted. Yumi had said two years ago was when she knew, and thinking back to the day she mentioned, he knew in his heart that he loved Yuzuru then. He just didn’t know it yet. Yuzuru wasn’t like any girl Javier had ever dated, because he knew him and cared for him as a friend – a best friend, even – long before he fell in love with him, and he was in love with him long before he started to really notice how much he wanted to feel Yuzuru’s hands in his or his body against his side. 

He hadn’t thought about having sex with Yuzuru before, because he hadn’t had a reason to. He was so distracted by the thought of having feelings for Yuzuru that could damage their friendship and the thoughts of how it seemed Yuzuru felt the same way, so he was still in the ‘should I ever try to talk about it with him’ phase of understanding how he felt.

However, after Yuzuru broke that barrier, Javier found himself thinking about it, and nothing was more uncomfortable than later that night, around two in the morning, lying awake in bed because he always shared his bed with Yuzuru when he spent the night and so the person he was thinking about having sex with was lying a foot to the left.

Javier had noticed how much he liked Yuzuru’s body before, so it wasn’t like he didn’t know most every detail of his long, slender limbs, his impossibly tiny waist, his curvy hips, and his deceptively muscular thighs. It wasn’t hard to imagine Yuzuru naked, and though Javier had never _really_ thought about sex with another man before, he found himself inescapably enticed by the thought of a man’s body under his hands, especially if that man’s body was shaped like Yuzuru’s. 

He knew how Yuzuru’s hips felt in his hands, and it was not hard to imagine how it would feel to hold those hips in his hands without clothes separating their skin. He didn’t have to imagine those legs around his waist, because he had carried Yuzuru and felt how strong they were. The thought of being between Yuzuru’s thighs was startlingly alluring. He knew how Yuzuru’s chest, body, and arms all felt, and though he was small, he was _strong_ , and he could imagine the feeling of that body moving with his towards ecstasy, and it was making things really awkward when someone else was in the bed with him. 

Yuzuru’s little wheezy breaths in his sleep – the ones that Javier had really worried about the first time he heard them – told him Yuzuru was deeply asleep, and though he didn’t want to, he knew damn well that it was entirely inappropriate to continue lying in bed beside Yuzuru while his brain dreamt up dirty scenarios with the two of them. He carefully left the bed and went out to the couch. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but maybe he could actually get some sleep when he wasn’t hyper-aware of Yuzuru’s body next to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting close to the end!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is way too fast of an update, but I wanna have this fic posted fully and I decided to post it anyways after my friend checked my english for me!
> 
> ENJOY!

Javier’s dreams did not, in fact, get any less dirty on the couch, especially when they went from day-dreams to actually having a dream during what little sleep he got that night. Instead, he woke up with a problem that made getting from the couch to the bathroom without Yuzuru, who was already awake and looking for food, noticing very difficult. 

The problem with coming to realize that, yes, okay, maybe he would like to have sex with Yuzuru was most prevalent when they had training and while Javier was supposed to be listening to Tracy, he was instead staring across the ice at Yuzuru’s body as he and David worked on some choreography. Every time Yuzuru demonstrated a movement, Javier’s eyes honed in on the curve of his ass or the flash of skin when his shirt rose some to reveal his abs. At one point, Yuzuru did a stretch that elongated his throat and arched his back and Javier had a visceral memory of that dream in which Yuzuru’s throat was beneath his lips as he arched off of a bed with a pleasured moan, and Javier actually slipped and fell in the middle of whatever Tracy was trying to say because of how vivid that memory was.

“What is going on with you today?” she asked as she looked down at where he lay on the ice, cheeks bright red. “You haven’t heard a word I said, have you?” she asked and he got to his feet with a shameful shake of his head. “You keep looking over at Yuzuru,” she said, tilting her head with worry. “Did something happen? If you’re not getting along, would you like to schedule your ice times differently?” she asked. “I know you’re friends, but if it’s getting tense, it’s always best to just not train at the same time. You can make up later without damaging your training now.”

Javier cleared his throat. “No, no, we- we’re fine.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m just tired,” he said, and it wasn’t too much of a lie. “Yuzuru stayed over last night and I was restless, so I slept on the couch so I didn’t wake him up with my tossing and turning, and that just made it harder to sleep. I’ll be fine, I just need a nap,” he joked.

Tracy hummed, looking at him. “Okay,” she said, seeming suddenly suspicious. “Well, let’s take a break. Go get something to drink and rest a minute. I’ll be back in about ten,” she said, and he nodded, going towards the lounge while she left to head towards her office. 

Javier let out a breath and went to do as she said, because he could use something to drink and a moment of rest about now. 

~

Lying on the couch in the lounge, Javier was blessedly alone. However, that ended when footsteps approached. He peeked out to see Yuzuru coming in and he started fake snoring. “No. I sleep,” he grumbled between ‘snores’, only to have his breath knocked out of him in a grunt when Yuzuru sat right on his stomach. “Yuzu,” he whined, grabbing his waist.

Yuzuru giggled. “What? You always say I so skinny. You should not be bothered.” He shifted though, flopping on top of Javier instead, looking down at his face from where he propped up with his forearms on Javier’s chest. “Are you okay?” he asked more seriously. He touched Javier’s forehead, frowning. “You do not feel warm, but you acted like you did not feel well. I saw you just fall down for no reason.”

Javier smiled at his concern and shook his head. “I’m okay. I’m just tired.”

“Yeah, why you leave and go to couch?” he asked, frowning some. “Was that I said something?” he asked, and Javier’s heart twisted when he saw guilt in Yuzuru’s eyes as he tried to remember some imagined slight. 

“No, no.” He curled his hands around Yuzuru’s waist, rubbing his sides with his fingers soothingly as he looked up at him. “I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake you up with my tossing and turning. It’s not your fault.”

Yuzuru hummed and nodded. “Okay. I just worried.” He pulled on one of Javier’s curls and Javier was overcome with affection as he saw Yuzuru mouthing ‘pyon-pyon’ to himself even if he didn’t say it. There was nobody in the world like Yuzuru Hanyu, and Javier felt so lucky to know him. He was glad Yuzuru was looking at his hair as he played with his curl because he would know in a second how Javier felt about him if he glanced down to see the unbridled love shining through Javier’s eyes. 

“Javier.” Javier looked up from where he lay beneath Yuzuru and saw Brian coming towards them. “Can you come to my office for a moment?” Javier blushed when he saw the look Brian gave Yuzuru. “Shouldn’t your break be up by now, Yuzu?” he asked, and Yuzuru blushed but smiled brightly.

“Yes. I just was checking on Javi. He fell down and seemed sick.” He patted Javier’s forehead. “He does not feel warm, though. He just need sleep. Poor Javi.” He sat up, straddling Javier even more embarrassingly, and patted his chest as he swung his legs off of him and got up. “He so old. Needs afternoon nap,” he teased, and Javier kicked out at him, barely missing as Yuzuru laughed and jumped away.

“Yeah, yeah,” Javier said, watching as Yuzuru ducked his head bashfully as he passed Brian, clearly just as embarrassed as Javier about the situation that had been walked in on. “So, you need to see me?” he asked as he stood up and stretched, and Brian nodded towards the hallway.

When they got to his office, Brian sat down and gestured for Javier to join him. “Tracy and I have been talking about something for a while now and she came to me after your little spill on the ice and decided I should probably just talk to you about it.” 

Javier’s back tensed as he realized what this was probably about. “Oh,” he said quietly.

Brian raised an eyebrow. “So you have an idea what this is about, then?”

Javier swallowed hard. “I guess it isn’t too shocking. I’ve been told people have been thinking something for a long time.” 

Brian was quiet for a moment before just asking it, being just as straightforward as ever. It was something Javier liked about Brian, but this time it was kind of harsh. “Why didn’t you or Yuzuru think it might be a good idea to let us know you were sleeping together?”

Javier ducked his head. “Because we’re not.” 

“Javier, look at me.” Javier looked up and Brian gave him a look. “There is no reason to lie to me. You know you can trust me with this. Yuzuru really knows he can trust us,” he stressed.

Javier ran his fingers through his hair and slumped in his seat. “I’m not lying. What Tracy thought and what is true are not the same,” he said. “For years now, it’s normal for Yuzuru to spend the night at my house after we play video games and stuff really late, and we sleep in the same bed, but we are not having sex. We’re not dating. We never have.”

“Oh.” Brian looked mildly embarrassed. “Well, I’m sorry we all just assumed. It just seemed-“

“No, no, you aren’t wrong,” Javier said with a mirthless laugh. He rubbed at his face. “I can’t know Yuzuru’s thoughts, but I know I have been blind. Yuzuru’s mother has thought I was his boyfriend for two years, and I only discovered that recently,” he said, and Brian looked surprised.

“Really now? I just started suspecting in the past few weeks. Tracy as well. You seem to look at him a lot differently now, but if Yumi has thought for two years…” He shook his head. “What _is_ going on, then?”

Javier shook his head, glancing down at his hands. “She’s smarter than I am. There was this incident during the summer that made me discover that people have always talked about the two of us. They say we act ‘too’ close, and I never knew there were rumors. Yuzuru didn’t either, but we talked about it, and though we have still not said it plainly, I think it’s pretty clear to both of us that there is a reason for those rumors.” He snorted. “It wasn’t until his family invited me to come visit so his sister and father could get to know his boyfriend that I realized what Yuzuru’s _family_ thought.”

Brian raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t know there were rumors? I never believed them, but there have always been rumors, Javi.”

“Yes, well, I also did not know Yuzuru is gay until this summer,” Javier said. “We never talk about those things and he assumed I found out through the gossip mill, but I didn’t.” He put a hand to his chest. “I am not gay. I have always been happy with women and didn’t even think about him that way, because I had no reason to. Our friendship is different, that’s all I ever thought.”

Brian nodded slowly. “Then what’s going on now?” he asked simply. “You still didn’t answer that question. I appreciate your explanations, but if there’s nothing to worry about, what has you so distracted?”

“I’m in love with him.” Javier swallowed and looked away, towards the window, and put his hand to his mouth. “Yumi was right. Two years ago I was in love with him. I just didn’t know it. I didn’t know it until someone pointed it out, because I have never had anything like this happen before. I have only ever loved people that I met with the intention of dating them from the start. Yuzuru was a child when we met. We were friends for a long time before whatever changed happened, and I didn’t know it. I don’t know when even now. I just know that I love him and I think he loves me, too.”

There was a moment of quiet and then Brian sighed. “Oh boy,” he said softly and Javier laughed at his reaction. “Okay, look at me.” Javier turned and saw Brian looking at him sympathetically. “I won’t try and give you advice that isn’t any of my business,” he said, and Javier was grateful for that. “Just tell me what you need me to do as your coach to help you train for this season without this causing any additional trouble for you.” He paused but then continued. “And if you want to talk about this, I’m here for you, you know that,” he said. “But I won’t try and butt into your business until you ask me to.”

Javier smiled and nodded. “Thank you for that,” he said with a chuckle. “I don’t really want to talk about it with anyone but Yuzuru, because we have been pretty open with whatever is going on between us, even if nothing has happened, so this isn’t causing any problems between us,” he explained. “But I think that it may be best for us to not be on the ice at the same time.” He blushed some. “Yuzuru can probably focus just fine, but I have never been as focused as him, and as today exhibited, I can’t listen to Tracy when Yuzuru’s just across the ice being beautiful.”

Brian snorted out a laugh. “Oh you have it bad,” he said, shaking his head. “Alright,” he said, shaking his head in amusement. “I’ll rework the schedules to make sure you two aren’t on the ice at the same time, and I’ll leave all the rest of your business up to you.”

Javier nodded. “Thanks,” he said, then chuckled. “Be honest,” he said as he stood up. “You prefer it that way, don’t you?” he asked and Brian sighed in relief.

“Oh God, yes. I do not want to have to get mixed up in somebody else’s business. Do you know how awkward it was to have to talk to Tracy about whether or not to talk to you and Yuzuru about this? I really, really prefer to avoid such uncomfortable conversations.” He walked around the desk and clapped Javier on the shoulder. “I’m here for you if you need me, but if you don’t, _please_ let me just focus on making you a winning skater.”

Javier smiled. “I prefer it that way, as well, but thank you for letting me know I can trust you,” he said before leaving the office. 

He would have to talk to Yuzuru later, but he was far more comfortable talking to Yuzuru about his feelings than he was his coaches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last one will be probably 12-16 hours from now maybe. ENJOY!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The end! I hope you loved it <3

After practice, Javier waited for Yuzuru so they could talk. When Javier asked Yuzuru if he could do something or if he had to go straight home, Yuzuru turned those damn puppy eyes on him and said, “Ice cream?”, which was how Javier found himself buying Yuzuru ice cream. 

“How do you eat so much?” Javier asked, looking at the giant sundae Yuzuru was finishing. “You are smaller than that ice cream,” he accused and Yuzuru just rolled his eyes.

“That why my arms and legs are so long. To fit more ice cream,” he said with a straight face, which made Javier crack up.

Javier found it harder to imagine how he hadn’t realized he loved this man, but a small part of him found it hard to imagine how more people weren’t in love with him. When they left, they took the longer way to get to the bus stop they needed, deciding to cut through the park and walk together for longer. Yuzuru seemed to know Javier wanted to talk but wasn’t sure how. “Javi,” he said, curling his hand around Javier’s elbow, leaning into his side as they walked down the path. “You are distracted today.”

Javier sighed and ducked his head. “I wanted to tell you something but I’m not sure how to make it not weird.”

Yuzuru stopped walking and looked around, seeing nobody, and slid his hand into Javier’s to squeeze it. “What is it?”

Javier looked at his concerned expression and squeezed his fingers back. “I had to talk to Brian and we decided to change up our skating schedules so you and I are not on the ice at the same time.”

Yuzuru tilted his head. “Why did you do that? Is something wrong?” he asked, looking guilty suddenly. “Is it because I tease you so much? You know I don’t mean anything-“

“No, no, Yuzu,” he interrupted, lifting their linked hands to curl his other around Yuzuru’s, holding his hand close to his middle. “No,” he said firmly. “You did nothing wrong,” he reassured.” He blushed. “But I am distracted by you. I slipped this morning because I was tired, yes, but mostly because I was looking at you across the ice.”

Yuzuru was clearly still confused. “I do not understand. You don’t always get distracted,” he said, and Javier gave him a pointed look.

“You and I don’t always talk about the things we did last night, either,” he reminded him, and suddenly Yuzuru went from confused to blushing.

“Oh!” He ducked his head, hiding behind his hair a little. “Oh so you mean looking like… _looking_.” Javier cleared his throat but nodded embarrassedly. “But you said you don’t think about me that way.”

Javier sighed. “I said I had never thought about you that way, but there is a reason I couldn’t sleep last night,” he said and Yuzuru bit his bottom lip bashfully. “If this makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. But you’re the one who said what you did and made me think about it,” he reminded him.

Yuzuru shook his head. “I am not uncomfortable,” he said, looking into Javier’s eyes again. “It’s kind of funny,” he said, and Javier saw mischief in his eyes. 

“Funny?” Javier asked flatly and Yuzuru nodded.

“You think about me in that way for one day and have to reschedule training. I am gay, I have always been on the ice with hot boys, and I never have trouble,” he teased and Javier laughed in surprise.

“Oh really?” He grabbed his waist and tickled him in retaliation. “Are you saying you never get distracted by sexy guys?” he teased.

Yuzuru giggled and caught his wrists, stopping him. “Yes. If I was not able to focus around hot guys, I could have never come here to train. You are very handsome and I was seventeen and gay. I would have never lasted if I could not ignore attractive men.” He sighed and patted Javier’s cheek once he freed his wrist. “Poor Javi. His life is difficult.”

Javier caught his hand as he patted his face and held it close to his chest. “To be fair, I do not look like you,” he said, and Yuzuru’s eyes widened and then he blushed, ducking his eyes.

“Javi,” he said softly. Javier smiled fondly at the blush on Yuzuru’s cheeks, because it was too endearing. Yuzuru lifted his eyes and looked closely at Javier. He stepped closer and Javier realized what he was doing an instant before Yuzuru’s lips touched his. Javier inhaled sharply through his nose in surprise, but managed to tilt his head and give Yuzuru a better angle. His hands went lax where they held Yuzuru’s and Yuzuru pulled his hands free to rest on Javier’s chest for balance. When the kiss broke Yuzuru’s eyes were already open and he was watching Javier carefully when Javier opened his eyes. Neither spoke for a moment, and Yuzuru’s eyes grew a little wider. “Should I have didn’t do that?” he asked nervously.

Javier smiled and shook his head. “No, it’s okay that you did that.” He raised his hand and touched Yuzuru’s cheek, leaning in. “I like that you did that,” he said as he pressed a small kiss to Yuzuru’s forehead before pulling him into a hug. 

Yuzuru relaxed in his arms and hugged him back. “Okay. Good.”

~

“I have thought,” Yuzuru said as Javier stood with him, waiting for the bus. “ _Really_ , this was a date,” he said, and Javier raised an amused eyebrow.

“Oh yeah? Why do you say that?” he asked, rubbing his thumb across Yuzuru’s knuckles where they held hands. 

Yuzuru smiled bright, clearly pleased with himself for his thought. “Because, you take me to get ice cream, then we go on walk together, and then I kiss you.” He nodded. “Just like in movies. We had a date.”

Javier smirked, stepping in front of Yuzuru. “So does that mean _technically_ I took you on your first date?” he asked and Yuzuru rolled his eyes but his blush told the truth. “I think I did,” he said, sliding his free hand to rest on Yuzuru’s hip.

“Maybe,” Yuzuru admitted finally and Javier grinned.

Javier leaned close. “Do I get a goodbye kiss, then?” he asked, but Yuzuru turned his head, giving him a warning look.

“Javi, no. We’re in public,” he said sternly. 

Javier stepped back immediately and nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“It is just rude,” Yuzuru said, squeezing the hand he was still holding. “It is bad enough habit I have that I let you always hold my waist and stuff.”

Javier gave him a warm look, unable to help it. “If you don’t want me touching you like that in front of people, you can always tell me to stop.”

“But I like it,” Yuzuru said stubbornly. They held hands still, even after they stopped talking, until Yuzuru’s bus came. When Yuzuru turned to him, he gave him a nervous look. “Javi, I like your accident date,” he said, and Javier melted some at how shy he seemed.

“I liked your kiss,” he admitted quietly and Yuzuru smiled brighter.

“Maybe I do it again some time,” he said, and then his smile fell a little. “We must talk about this, Javi.”

Javier nodded. “I know.” He hugged him once more. “I know, Querido,” he said, sneaking a kiss to his hair as he let him go. “Tomorrow can you come over? We can talk about it in private that way,” he said, and Yuzuru nodded.

“I’ll see if I have time,” he said, waving goodbye before he left to go get on the bus and head home.

~

Yuzuru moaned as he kissed Javier deeply, pushing him against the back of the couch, his fingers tangling in Javier’s curls. Javier was still not quite sure how he got in this situation, sitting on his couch with Yuzuru on his lap, kissing the daylights out of him, but it was not a bad place to be.

They broke to breathe and Yuzuru started pressing kisses down his cheek. “Yuzu,” he breathed, gasping at the feeling of Yuzuru’s lips on his ear. “Yuzu, what happened to talking about this?” he asked, trying to regain some semblance of doing the right thing.

“Can talk later,” Yuzuru said, leaving wet kisses along the side of his throat. “I think all day about kissing you. Little kiss was nice. Really want big kisses all day,” he said, and then Javier couldn’t even agree or disagree before Yuzuru bit down on a spot that made Javier see stars, leaving him absolutely no ability to speak English right now. 

Javier let himself give in to the pleasure for a while, but when Yuzuru started to grind against him, Javier’s brain decided to work again and he knew he had to stop this. “Wait, wait, Querido, wait,” he said, catching his hips. He gently pushed Yuzuru’s hips back so that their increasingly excited ‘man parts’, as Yuzuru would say, weren’t so close to each other.

“Javi?” Yuzuru panted, frowning in confusion. He sat back further onto Javier’s lap and it took all of Javier’s willpower not to say ‘screw it’ and let Yuzuru do what he wanted, because with his hair messed up, his cheeks pink, and his lips swollen and red, Yuzuru looked _so sexy_. “What’s wrong?” he asked, looking worried.

Javier swallowed hard, his throat sticking a bit before he could talk. “Yuzuru, we really have to talk,” he said, and Yuzuru pouted some. “Oh, I know,” he said, reaching up to cup Yuzuru’s face in his hand. “Trust me,” he said seriously. “I really, really like kissing you.”

“Then why stop?” Yuzuru asked with a grumpy little sound, and Javier laughed softly.

“Querido, we have danced around talking about any feelings that might be more than friends for a long time, and then yesterday we had a single kiss, and didn’t talk about anything of importance.” He shook his head. “It’s not a good idea for you to just show up and start trying to get in my pants and me just let you without even talking about anything.”

Yuzuru flushed as he looked at their position and realized what he had done. “Eh,” he said, awkwardly. “I think you are right,” he said, and then slid off of Javier’s lap to sit on the couch beside him, pulling his knees up to his chest. Javier had a good idea why he wanted to do that as he, too, moved and grabbed the pillow off the couch to hold in his lap, fidgeting with the stitching. “Sorry, Javi,” he said and Javier shook his head.

“It’s fine, Querido.” He cleared his throat. “So… I’m guessing you don’t have second thoughts about kissing yesterday,” he started with and Yuzuru laughed in surprise, shaking his head bashfully.

“I like that I kiss you.” He picked at the knee of his pants. “I thank that you like I kiss you?”

Javier nodded. “You think correctly,” he agreed with a warm smile. “The way that I feel for you, Yuzu, is something very real.”

Yuzuru smiled at him. “My mother will never stop laughing at knowing we want to be boyfriends before we know ourselves,” he said softly, and Javier’s heart fluttered at the thought of that word. 

“I have been a boyfriend before, but I have never had one,” Javier said, and Yuzuru bit his lip worriedly.

“Are you sure you want that I be yours?” he asked and Javier nodded very seriously.

“I am very positive that I want you to be my boyfriend, Yuzuru.” He shook his head. “I have known for quite a while how much you mean to me. I was afraid of hurting our friendship by doing anything about it, and I was unsure how I felt about dating a man.”

Yuzuru frowned. “You decide you like, right? Cause I feel like you like boys,” he said, and Javier snickered at his straightforwardness. 

“Yuzuru, I think you just saw quite well how much I like at least you,” he said and Yuzuru gave a smug little smile as he looked at Javier’s hair, giving him an impression that his hair was probably wild from Yuzuru’s fingers in it. 

Yuzuru slid a little closer, turning so that their shoulders were together. “If we do this, we must tell Brian,” Yuzuru said, and Javier nodded. “And I must tell my mother that she was right and we do want to be boyfriends.” Javier knew she would be so smug. Yuzuru hesitated. “You are always very showy when you have girlfriend,” he said softly. “I cannot do that. I would like to, but I cannot,” he said, looking at Javier. “Like you say, I am Yuzuru Hanyu. Skating is my life. I cannot put love for you ahead of what I must do and must be for my country.”

Javier smiled sadly, because he knew. He knew exactly what would happen, likely for both of them, should people find out they were together. “I know.” He slid his hand into Yuzuru’s. “I understand.” He sighed. “I do not like it, but I understand.”

“But is it worth it for you?” Yuzuru asked, and Javier could see the fear in his eyes. He feared rejection and heartbreak, and Javier hated that more than anything.

“I am in love with you, Yuzuru Hanyu,” Javier said seriously, holding is gaze. “I am willing to make many sacrifices to be your boyfriend,” he said, and Yuzuru’s eyes widened.

“You love me?” He looked surprised, as if he hadn’t said the same thing moments ago. Javier wondered now if he realized he told Javier he loved him. 

Javier nodded, squeezing his hand. “I have loved you for longer than I ever realized, Yuzu. And I hope to keep loving you as long as you will let me.”

Yuzuru’s smile grew so large that it took Javier’s breath away with its beauty. “I love you, Javier Fernandez,” he said in reply, and Javier would _never_ grow tired of how cute his name sounded in Yuzuru’s voice. Yuzuru leaned in and kissed him again and Javier sank into the kiss gratefully. 

This time, when they ended up horizontal on the couch, Yuzuru laying on his chest, they were less fevered and more sentimental as Javier stroked his hands up the long planes of Yuzuru’s back and Yuzuru played with Javier’s curls in between slow, sweet kisses. Giggles interrupted every other kiss as Javier said funny things to intentionally make Yuzuru laugh his adorably weird laugh. “I love that laugh,” Javier said, and Yuzuru beamed.

“That you make me laugh is one of many reasons I love you at all,” he informed him, playing with his favorite curl. “You so silly, and it makes me happy always. I have always liked this,” he said warmly. Yuzuru leaned down to kiss him slowly. “I like small kisses,” he admitted. “Big kisses fun, but with small kiss, I can think,” he said, and Javier knew exactly what he was trying to say.

“It isn’t that I don’t want that,” Javier said, meaning their brush with sex earlier. “I just think it’s best if we don’t rush things.” He stroked Yuzuru’s hair back behind his ear. “We have spent years being in love without knowing it. I think we can move a little faster than that, but we should still not rush.”

Yuzuru nodded. “I agree.” He made a face. “What body wants and what brain needs are not same always, but I have only even kissed two boys before. It best that we do not have sex tonight,” he said, though he still looked a little saddened by that thought. 

Javier smiled and stroked his cheek. “I agree.” Yuzuru leaned in to give him a small kiss and Javier hugged him after that, pressing his lips to Yuzuru’s ear as Yuzuru lay on his chest and relaxed. Javier nuzzled Yuzuru’s hair with his nose before speaking. “I have never been with a man, and I want to find out how to make love to you the way you deserve when we finally get there,” he murmured, and Yuzuru actually shivered in his arms, which was very pleasant. 

“I- I think that really good idea,” Yuzuru squeaked, and Javier couldn’t help but laugh as he hugged Yuzuru again. 

“One day, Querido,” Javier said and Yuzuru hummed his assent, reaching out to play with his favorite curl.

“One day,” he agreed, smiling as he pecked Javier’s lips once again. He pulled back suddenly and frowned. “Oh no. I have thought,” he said, and Javier raised an eyebrow. Yuzuru looked down at him with an annoyed pout. “This mean Shoma did it, Shoma made us stop being stupid and get together,” he said, and Javier was startled into loud laughter, because he had forgotten all about that. 

“He did, huh?” Javier mused.

“It not funny!” Yuzuru whined, but Javier just held him close and tried to think of a discreet way of sending Shoma a thank you gift for giving him what he had right now: Yuzuru, his boyfriend, lying in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this fic! Hopefully there will be another fic like this one day!

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written fanfiction in English before, so I hope this is as good as I think it is! I am fluent in English but it is not my first language, but my friend said that the errors are few and far between.
> 
> There will be more soon! I have already written a lot more so I don't know how long this will be. I did not plan on writing a very long first fic, but I ran away with this story. Currently it is 9.000 words so I hope you all are ready for more soon!
> 
> Let me know what you think, please!


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